Island Nights' Entertainments
by Robert Louis Stevenson
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Transcribed from the 1905 Chatto and Windus Edition by David Price, email

Island Nights Entertainments


The Beach of Falesá A south sea bridal The Ban The Missionary Devil-work Night in the bush The Bottle Imp The Isle of voices



I saw that island first when it was neither night nor morning. The moon was to the west, setting, but still broad and bright. To the east, and right amidships of the dawn, which was all pink, the daystar sparkled like a diamond. The land breeze blew in our faces, and smelt strong of wild lime and vanilla: other things besides, but these were the most plain; and the chill of it set me sneezing. I should say I had been for years on a low island near the line, living for the most part solitary among natives. Here was a fresh experience: even the tongue would be quite strange to me; and the look of these woods and mountains, and the rare smell of them, renewed my blood.

The captain blew out the binnacle lamp.

There! said he, there goes a bit of smoke, Mr. Wiltshire, behind the break of the reef. Thats Falesá, where your station is, the last village to the east; nobody lives to windwardI dont know why. Take my glass, and you can make the houses out.

I took the glass; and the shores leaped nearer, and I saw the tangle of the woods and the breach of the surf, and the brown roofs and the black insides of houses peeped among the trees.

Do you catch a bit of white there to the eastard? the captain continued. Thats your house. Coral built, stands high, verandah you could walk on three abreast; best station in the South Pacific. When old Adams saw it, he took and shook me by the hand. Ive dropped into a soft thing here, says he.So you have, says I, and time too! Poor Johnny! I never saw him again but the once, and then he had changed his tunecouldnt get on with the natives, or the whites, or something; and the next time we came round there he was dead and buried. I took and put up a bit of a stick to him: John Adams, obit eighteen and sixty-eight. Go thou and do likewise. I missed that man. I never could see much harm in Johnny.

What did he die of? I inquired.

Some kind of sickness, says the captain. It appears it took him sudden. Seems he got up in the night, and filled up on Pain-Killer and Kennedys Discovery. No go: he was booked beyond Kennedy. Then he had tried to open a case of gin. No go again: not strong enough. Then he must have turned to and run out on the verandah, and capsized over the rail. When they found him, the next day, he was clean crazycarried on all the time about somebody watering his copra. Poor John!

Was it thought to be the island? I asked.

Well, it was thought to be the island, or the trouble, or something, he replied. I never could hear but what it was a healthy place. Our last man, Vigours, never turned a hair. He left because of the beachsaid he was afraid of Black Jack and Case and Whistling Jimmie, who was still alive at the time, but got drowned soon afterward when drunk. As for old Captain Randall, hes been here any time since eighteen-forty, forty-five. I never could see much harm in Billy, nor much change. Seems as if he might live to be Old Kafoozleum. No, I guess its healthy.

Theres a boat coming now, said I. Shes right in the pass; looks to be a sixteen-foot whale; two white men in the stern sheets.

Thats the boat that drowned Whistling Jimmie! cried the Captain; lets see the glass. Yes, thats Case, sure enough, and the darkie. Theyve got a gallows bad reputation, but you know what a place the beach is for talking. My belief, that Whistling Jimmie was the worst of the trouble; and hes gone to glory, you see. Whatll you bet they aint after gin? Lay you five to two they take six cases.

When these two traders came aboard I was pleased with the looks of them at once, or, rather, with the looks of both, and the speech of one. I was sick for white neighbours after my four years at the line, which I always counted years of prison; getting tabooed, and going down to the Speak House to see and get it taken off; buying gin and going on a break, and then repenting; sitting in the house at night with the lamp for company; or walking on the beach and wondering what kind of a fool to call myself for being where I was. There were no other whites upon my island, and when I sailed to the next, rough customers made the most of the society. Now to see these two when they came aboard was a pleasure. One was a negro, to be sure; but they were both rigged out smart in striped pyjamas and straw hats, and Case would have passed muster in a city. He was yellow and smallish, had a hawks nose to his face, pale eyes, and his beard trimmed with scissors. No man knew his country, beyond he was of English speech; and it was clear he came of a good family and was splendidly educated. He was accomplished too; played the accordion first-rate; and give him a piece of string or a cork or a pack of cards, and he could show you tricks equal to any professional. He could speak, when he chose, fit for a drawing-room; and when he chose he could blaspheme worse than a Yankee boatswain, and talk smart to sicken a Kanaka. The way he thought would pay best at the moment, that was Cases way, and it always seemed to come natural, and like as if he was born to it. He had the courage of a lion and the cunning of a rat; and if hes not in hell to-day, theres no such place. I know but one good point to the man: that he was fond of his wife, and kind to her. She was a Samoa woman, and dyed her hair red, Samoa style; and when he came to die (as I have to tell of) they found one strange thingthat he had made a will, like a Christian, and the widow got the lot: all his, they said, and all Black Jacks, and the most of Billy Randalls in the bargain, for it was Case that kept the books. So she went off home in the schooner Manua, and does the lady to this day in her own place.

But of all this on that first morning I knew no more than a fly. Case used me like a gentleman and like a friend, made me welcome to Falesá, and put his services at my disposal, which was the more helpful from my ignorance of the native. All the better part of the day we sat drinking better acquaintance in the cabin, and I never heard a man talk more to the point. There was no smarter trader, and none dodgier, in the islands. I thought Falesá seemed to be the right kind of a place; and the more I drank the lighter my heart. Our last trader had fled the place at half an hours notice, taking a chance passage in a labour ship from up west. The captain, when he came, had found the station closed, the keys left with the native pastor, and a letter from the runaway, confessing he was fairly frightened of his life. Since then the firm had not been represented, and of course there was no cargo. The wind, besides, was fair, the captain hoped he could make his next island by dawn, with a good tide, and the business of landing my trade was gone about lively. There was no call for me to fool with it, Case said; nobody would touch my things, everyone was honest in Falesá, only about chickens or an odd knife or an odd stick of tobacco; and the best I could do was to sit quiet till the vessel left, then come straight to his house, see old Captain Randall, the father of the beach, take pot-luck, and go home to sleep when it got dark. So it was high noon, and the schooner was under way before I set my foot on shore at Falesá.

I had a glass or two on board; I was just off a long cruise, and the ground heaved under me like a ships deck. The world was like all new painted; my foot went along to music; Falesá might have been Fiddlers Green, if there is such a place, and mores the pity if there isnt! It was good to foot the grass, to look aloft at the green mountains, to see the men with their green wreaths and the women in their bright dresses, red and blue. On we went, in the strong sun and the cool shadow, liking both; and all the children in the town came trotting after with their shaven heads and their brown bodies, and raising a thin kind of a cheer in our wake, like crowing poultry.

By-the-bye, says Case, we must get you a wife.

Thats so, said I; I had forgotten.

There was a crowd of girls about us, and I pulled myself up and looked among them like a Bashaw. They were all dressed out for the sake of the ship being in; and the women of Falesá are a handsome lot to see. If they have a fault, they are a trifle broad in the beam; and I was just thinking so when Case touched me.

Thats pretty, says he.

I saw one coming on the other side alone. She had been fishing; all she wore was a chemise, and it was wetted through. She was young and very slender for an island maid, with a long face, a high forehead, and a shy, strange, blindish look, between a cats and a babys.

Whos she? said I. Shell do.

Thats Uma, said Case, and he called her up and spoke to her in the native. I didnt know what he said; but when he was in the midst she looked up at me quick and timid, like a child dodging a blow, then down again, and presently smiled. She had a wide mouth, the lips and the chin cut like any statues; and the smile came out for a moment and was gone. Then she stood with her head bent, and heard Case to an end, spoke back in the pretty Polynesian voice, looking him full in the face, heard him again in answer, and then with an obeisance started off. I had just a share of the bow, but never another shot of her eye, and there was no more word of smiling.

I guess its all right, said Case. I guess you can have her. Ill make it square with the old lady. You can have your pick of the lot for a plug of tobacco, he added, sneering.

I suppose it was the smile stuck in my memory, for I spoke back sharp. She doesnt look that sort, I cried.

I dont know that she is, said Case. I believe shes as right as the mail. Keeps to herself, dont go round with the gang, and that. O no, dont you misunderstand meUmas on the square. He spoke eager, I thought, and that surprised and pleased me. Indeed, he went on, I shouldnt make so sure of getting her, only she cottoned to the cut of your jib. All you have to do is to keep dark and let me work the mother my own way; and Ill bring the girl round to the captains for the marriage.

I didnt care for the word marriage, and I said so.

Oh, theres nothing to hurt in the marriage, says he. Black Jacks the chaplain.

By this time we had come in view of the house of these three white men; for a negro is counted a white man, and so is a Chinese! a strange idea, but common in the islands. It was a board house with a strip of rickety verandah. The store was to the front, with a counter, scales, and the poorest possible display of trade: a case or two of tinned meats; a barrel of hard bread; a few bolts of cotton stuff, not to be compared with mine; the only thing well represented being the contraband, firearms and liquor. If these are my only rivals, thinks I, I should do well in Falesá. Indeed, there was only the one way they could touch me, and that was with the guns and drink.

In the back room was old Captain Randall, squatting on the floor native fashion, fat and pale, naked to the waist, grey as a badger, and his eyes set with drink. His body was covered with grey hair and crawled over by flies; one was in the corner of his eyehe never heeded; and the mosquitoes hummed about the man like bees. Any clean-minded man would have had the creature out at once and buried him; and to see him, and think he was seventy, and remember he had once commanded a ship, and come ashore in his smart togs, and talked big in bars and consulates, and sat in club verandahs, turned me sick and sober.

He tried to get up when I came in, but that was hopeless; so he reached me a hand instead, and stumbled out some salutation.

Papas {1} pretty full this morning, observed Case. Weve had an epidemic here; and Captain Randall takes gin for a prophylacticdont you, Papa?

Never took such a thing in my life! cried the captain indignantly. Take gin for my healths sake, Mr. Whas-ever-your-names a precautionary measure.

Thats all right, Papa, said Case. But youll have to brace up. Theres going to be a marriageMr. Wiltshire here is going to get spliced.

The old man asked to whom.

To Uma, said Case.

Uma! cried the captain. Whas he want Uma for? s he come here for his health, anyway? Wha n hells he want Uma for?

Dry up, Papa, said Case. Taint you thats to marry her. I guess youre not her godfather and godmother. I guess Mr. Wiltshires going to please himself.

With that he made an excuse to me that he must move about the marriage, and left me alone with the poor wretch that was his partner and (to speak truth) his gull. Trade and station belonged both to Randall; Case and the negro were parasites; they crawled and fed upon him like the flies, he none the wiser. Indeed, I have no harm to say of Billy Randall beyond the fact that my gorge rose at him, and the time I now passed in his company was like a nightmare.

The room was stifling hot and full of flies; for the house was dirty and low and small, and stood in a bad place, behind the village, in the borders of the bush, and sheltered from the trade. The three mens beds were on the floor, and a litter of pans and dishes. There was no standing furniture; Randall, when he was violent, tearing it to laths. There I sat and had a meal which was served us by Cases wife; and there I was entertained all day by that remains of man, his tongue stumbling among low old jokes and long old stories, and his own wheezy laughter always ready, so that he had no sense of my depression. He was nipping gin all the while. Sometimes he fell asleep, and awoke again, whimpering and shivering, and every now and again he would ask me why I wanted to marry Uma. My friend, I was telling myself all day, you must not come to be an old gentleman like this.

It might be four in the afternoon, perhaps, when the back door was thrust slowly open, and a strange old native woman crawled into the house almost on her belly. She was swathed in black stuff to her heels; her hair was grey in swatches; her face was tattooed, which was not the practice in that island; her eyes big and bright and crazy. These she fixed upon me with a rapt expression that I saw to be part acting. She said no plain word, but smacked and mumbled with her lips, and hummed aloud, like a child over its Christmas pudding. She came straight across the house, heading for me, and, as soon as she was alongside, caught up my hand and purred and crooned over it like a great cat. From this she slipped into a kind of song.

Who the devils this? cried I, for the thing startled me.

Its Faavao, says Randall; and I saw he had hitched along the floor into the farthest corner.

You aint afraid of her? I cried.

Me fraid! cried the captain. My dear friend, I defy her! I dont let her put her foot in here, only I suppose s different to-day, for the marriage. s Umas mother.

Well, suppose it is; whats she carrying on about? I asked, more irritated, perhaps more frightened, than I cared to show; and the captain told me she was making up a quantity of poetry in my praise because I was to marry Uma. All right, old lady, says I, with rather a failure of a laugh, anything to oblige. But when youre done with my hand, you might let me know.

She did as though she understood; the song rose into a cry, and stopped; the woman crouched out of the house the same way that she came in, and must have plunged straight into the bush, for when I followed her to the door she had already vanished.

These are rum manners, said I.

s a rum crowd, said the captain, and, to my surprise, he made the sign of the cross on his bare bosom.

Hillo! says I, are you a Papist?

He repudiated the idea with contempt. Hard-shell Baptis, said he. But, my dear friend, the Papists got some good ideas too; and tha s one of em. You take my advice, and whenever you come across Uma or Faavao or Vigours, or any of that crowd, you take a leaf out o the priests, and do what I do. Savvy? says he, repeated the sign, and winked his dim eye at me. No, sir! he broke out again, no Papists here! and for a long time entertained me with his religious opinions.

I must have been taken with Uma from the first, or I should certainly have fled from that house, and got into the clean air, and the clean sea, or some convenient riverthough, its true, I was committed to Case; and, besides, I could never have held my head up in that island if I had run from a girl upon my wedding-night.

The sun was down, the sky all on fire, and the lamp had been some time lighted, when Case came back with Uma and the negro. She was dressed and scented; her kilt was of fine tapa, looking richer in the folds than any silk; her bust, which was of the colour of dark honey, she wore bare only for some half a dozen necklaces of seeds and flowers; and behind her ears and in her hair she had the scarlet flowers of the hibiscus. She showed the best bearing for a bride conceivable, serious and still; and I thought shame to stand up with her in that mean house and before that grinning negro. I thought shame, I say; for the mountebank was dressed with a big paper collar, the book he made believe to read from was an odd volume of a novel, and the words of his service not fit to be set down. My conscience smote me when we joined hands; and when she got her certificate I was tempted to throw up the bargain and confess. Here is the document. It was Case that wrote it, signatures and all, in a leaf out of the ledger:

This is to certify that Uma, daughter of Faavao of Falesá, Island of —-, is illegally married to Mr. John Wiltshire for one week, and Mr. John Wiltshire is at liberty to send her to hell when he pleases.

JOHN BLACKAMOAR. Chaplain to the hulks.

Extracted from the Register by William T. Randall, Master Mariner.

A nice paper to put in a girls hand and see her hide away like gold. A man might easily feel cheap for less. But it was the practice in these parts, and (as I told myself) not the least the fault of us white men, but of the missionaries. If they had let the natives be, I had never needed this deception, but taken all the wives I wished, and left them when I pleased, with a clear conscience.

The more ashamed I was, the more hurry I was in to be gone; and our desires thus jumping together, I made the less remark of a change in the traders. Case had been all eagerness to keep me; now, as though he had attained a purpose, he seemed all eagerness to have me go. Uma, he said, could show me to my house, and the three bade us farewell indoors.

The night was nearly come; the village smelt of trees and flowers and the sea and bread-fruit-cooking; there came a fine roll of sea from the reef, and from a distance, among the woods and houses, many pretty sounds of men and children. It did me good to breathe free air; it did me good to be done with the captain and see, instead, the creature at my side. I felt for all the world as though she were some girl at home in the Old Country, and, forgetting myself for the minute, took her hand to walk with. Her fingers nestled into mine, I heard her breathe deep and quick, and all at once she caught my hand to her face and pressed it there. You good! she cried, and ran ahead of me, and stopped and looked back and smiled, and ran ahead of me again, thus guiding me through the edge of the bush, and by a quiet way to my own house.

The truth is, Case had done the courting for me in styletold her I was mad to have her, and cared nothing for the consequence; and the poor soul, knowing that which I was still ignorant of, believed it, every word, and had her head nigh turned with vanity and gratitude. Now, of all this I had no guess; I was one of those most opposed to any nonsense about native women, having seen so many whites eaten up by their wives relatives, and made fools of in the bargain; and I told myself I must make a stand at once, and bring her to her bearings. But she looked so quaint and pretty as she ran away and then awaited me, and the thing was done so like a child or a kind dog, that the best I could do was just to follow her whenever she went on, to listen for the fall of her bare feet, and to watch in the dusk for the shining of her body. And there was another thought came in my head. She played kitten with me now when we were alone; but in the house she had carried it the way a countess might, so proud and humble. And what with her dressfor all there was so little of it, and that native enoughwhat with her fine tapa and fine scents, and her red flowers and seeds, that were quite as bright as jewels, only largerit came over me she was a kind of countess really, dressed to hear great singers at a concert, and no even mate for a poor trader like myself.

She was the first in the house; and while I was still without I saw a match flash and the lamplight kindle in the windows. The station was a wonderful fine place, coral built, with quite a wide verandah, and the main room high and wide. My chests and cases had been piled in, and made rather of a mess; and there, in the thick of the confusion, stood Uma by the table, awaiting me. Her shadow went all the way up behind her into the hollow of the iron roof; she stood against it bright, the lamplight shining on her skin. I stopped in the door, and she looked at me, not speaking, with eyes that were eager and yet daunted; then she touched herself on the bosom.

Meyour wifie, she said. It had never taken me like that before; but the want of her took and shook all through me, like the wind in the luff of a sail.

I could not speak if I had wanted; and if I could, I would not. I was ashamed to be so much moved about a native, ashamed of the marriage too, and the certificate she had treasured in her kilt; and I turned aside and made believe to rummage among my cases. The first thing I lighted on was a case of gin, the only one that I had brought; and, partly for the girls sake, and partly for horror of the recollections of old Randall, took a sudden resolve. I prized the lid off. One by one I drew the bottles with a pocket corkscrew, and sent Uma out to pour the stuff from the verandah.

She came back after the last, and looked at me puzzled like.

No good, said I, for I was now a little better master of my tongue. Man he drink, he no good.

She agreed with this, but kept considering. Why you bring him? she asked presently. Suppose you no want drink, you no bring him, I think.

Thats all right, said I. One time I want drink too much; now no want. You see, I no savvy I get one little wifie. Suppose I drink gin, my little wifie he fraid.

To speak to her kindly was about more than I was fit for; I had made my vow I would never let on to weakness with a native, and I had nothing for it but to stop.

She stood looking gravely down at me where I sat by the open case. I think you good man, she said. And suddenly she had fallen before me on the floor. I belong you all-e-same pig! she cried.


I came on the verandah just before the sun rose on the morrow. My house was the last on the east; there was a cape of woods and cliffs behind that hid the sunrise. To the west, a swift cold river ran down, and beyond was the green of the village, dotted with cocoa-palms and breadfruits and houses. The shutters were some of them down and some open; I saw the mosquito bars still stretched, with shadows of people new-awakened sitting up inside; and all over the green others were stalking silent, wrapped in their many-coloured sleeping clothes like Bedouins in Bible pictures. It was mortal still and solemn and chilly, and the light of the dawn on the lagoon was like the shining of a fire.

But the thing that troubled me was nearer hand. Some dozen young men and children made a piece of a half-circle, flanking my house: the river divided them, some were on the near side, some on the far, and one on a boulder in the midst; and they all sat silent, wrapped in their sheets, and stared at me and my house as straight as pointer dogs. I thought it strange as I went out. When I had bathed and come back again, and found them all there, and two or three more along with them, I thought it stranger still. What could they see to gaze at in my house, I wondered, and went in.

But the thought of these starers stuck in my mind, and presently I came out again. The sun was now up, but it was still behind the cape of woods. Say a quarter of an hour had come and gone. The crowd was greatly increased, the far bank of the river was lined for quite a wayperhaps thirty grown folk, and of children twice as many, some standing, some squatted on the ground, and all staring at my house. I have seen a house in a South Sea village thus surrounded, but then a trader was thrashing his wife inside, and she singing out. Here was nothing: the stove was alight, the smoke going up in a Christian manner; all was shipshape and Bristol fashion. To be sure, there was a stranger come, but they had a chance to see that stranger yesterday, and took it quiet enough. What ailed them now? I leaned my arms on the rail and stared back. Devil a wink they had in them! Now and then I could see the children chatter, but they spoke so low not even the hum of their speaking came my length. The rest were like graven images: they stared at me, dumb and sorrowful, with their bright eyes; and it came upon me things would look not much different if I were on the platform of the gallows, and these good folk had come to see me hanged.

I felt I was getting daunted, and began to be afraid I looked it, which would never do. Up I stood, made believe to stretch myself, came down the verandah stair, and strolled towards the river. There went a short buzz from one to the other, like what you hear in theatres when the curtain goes up; and some of the nearest gave back the matter of a pace. I saw a girl lay one hand on a young man and make a gesture upward with the other; at the same time she said something in the native with a gasping voice. Three little boys sat beside my path, where, I must pass within three feet of them. Wrapped in their sheets, with their shaved heads and bits of top-knots, and queer faces, they looked like figures on a chimney-piece. Awhile they sat their ground, solemn as judges. I came up hand over fist, doing my five knots, like a man that meant business; and I thought I saw a sort of a wink and gulp in the three faces. Then one jumped up (he was the farthest off) and ran for his mammy. The other two, trying to follow suit, got foul, came to ground together bawling, wriggled right out of their sheets mother-naked, and in a moment there were all three of them scampering for their lives and singing out like pigs. The natives, who would never let a joke slip, even at a burial, laughed and let up, as short as a dogs bark.

They say it scares a man to be alone. No such thing. What scares him in the dark or the high bush is that he cant make sure, and there might be an army at his elbow. What scares him worst is to be right in the midst of a crowd, and have no guess of what theyre driving at. When that laugh stopped, I stopped too. The boys had not yet made their offing, they were still on the full stretch going the one way, when I had already gone about ship and was sheering off the other. Like a fool I had come out, doing my five knots; like a fool I went back again. It must have been the funniest thing to see, and what knocked me silly, this time no one laughed; only one old woman gave a kind of pious moan, the way you have heard Dissenters in their chapels at the sermon.

I never saw such fools of Kanakas as your people here, I said once to Uma, glancing out of the window at the starers.

Savvy nothing, says Uma, with a kind of disgusted air that she was good at.

And that was all the talk we had upon the matter, for I was put out, and Uma took the thing so much as a matter of course that I was fairly ashamed.

All day, off and on, now fewer and now more, the fools sat about the west end of my house and across the river, waiting for the show, whatever that wasfire to come down from heaven, I suppose, and consume me, bones and baggage. But by evening, like real islanders, they had wearied of the business, and got away, and had a dance instead in the big house of the village, where I heard them singing and clapping hands till, maybe, ten at night, and the next day it seemed they had forgotten I existed. If fire had come down from heaven or the earth opened and swallowed me, there would have been nobody to see the sport or take the lesson, or whatever you like to call it. But I was to find they hadnt forgot either, and kept an eye lifting for phenomena over my way.

I was hard at it both these days getting my trade in order and taking stock of what Vigours had left. This was a job that made me pretty sick, and kept me from thinking on much else. Ben had taken stock the trip beforeI knew I could trust Benbut it was plain somebody had been making free in the meantime. I found I was out by what might easily cover six months salary and profit, and I could have kicked myself all round the village to have been such a blamed ass, sitting boozing with that Case instead of attending to my own affairs and taking stock.

However, theres no use crying over spilt milk. It was done now, and couldnt be undone. All I could do was to get what was left of it, and my new stuff (my own choice) in order, to go round and get after the rats and cockroaches, and to fix up that store regular Sydney style. A fine show I made of it; and the third morning when I had lit my pipe and stood in the door-way and looked in, and turned and looked far up the mountain and saw the cocoanuts waving and posted up the tons of copra, and over the village green and saw the island dandies and reckoned up the yards of print they wanted for their kilts and dresses, I felt as if I was in the right place to make a fortune, and go home again and start a public-house. There was I, sitting in that verandah, in as handsome a piece of scenery as you could find, a splendid sun, and a fine fresh healthy trade that stirred up a mans blood like sea-bathing; and the whole thing was clean gone from me, and I was dreaming England, which is, after all, a nasty, cold, muddy hole, with not enough light to see to read by; and dreaming the looks of my public, by a cant of a broad high-road like an avenue, and with the sign on a green tree.

So much for the morning, but the day passed and the devil anyone looked near me, and from all I knew of natives in other islands I thought this strange. People laughed a little at our firm and their fine stations, and at this station of Falesá in particular; all the copra in the district wouldnt pay for it (I had heard them say) in fifty years, which I supposed was an exaggeration. But when the day went, and no business came at all, I began to get downhearted; and, about three in the afternoon, I went out for a stroll to cheer me up. On the green I saw a white man coming with a cassock on, by which and by the face of him I knew he was a priest. He was a good-natured old soul to look at, gone a little grizzled, and so dirty you could have written with him on a piece of paper.

Good day, sir, said I.

He answered me eagerly in native.

Dont you speak any English? said I.

French, says he.

Well, said I, Im sorry, but I cant do anything there.

He tried me awhile in the French, and then again in native, which he seemed to think was the best chance. I made out he was after more than passing the time of day with me, but had something to communicate, and I listened the harder. I heard the names of Adams and Case and of RandallRandall the oftenestand the word poison, or something like it, and a native word that he said very often. I went home, repeating it to myself.

What does fussy-ocky mean? I asked of Uma, for that was as near as I could come to it.

Make dead, said she.

The devil it does! says I. Did ever you hear that Case had poisoned Johnnie Adams?

Every man he savvy that, says Uma, scornful-like. Give him white sandbad sand. He got the bottle still. Suppose he give you gin, you no take him.

Now I had heard much the same sort of story in other islands, and the same white powder always to the front, which made me think the less of it. For all that, I went over to Randalls place to see what I could pick up, and found Case on the doorstep, cleaning a gun.

Good shooting here? says I.

A 1, says he. The bush is full of all kinds of birds. I wish copra was as plenty, says heI thought, slylybut there dont seem anything doing.

I could see Black Jack in the store, serving a customer.

That looks like business, though, said I.

Thats the first sale weve made in three weeks, said he.

You dont tell me? says I. Three weeks? Well, well.

If you dont believe me, he cries, a little hot, you can go and look at the copra-house. Its half empty to this blessed hour.

I shouldnt be much the better for that, you see, says I. For all I can tell, it might have been whole empty yesterday.

Thats so, says he, with a bit of a laugh.

By-the-bye, I said, what sort of a party is that priest? Seems rather a friendly sort.

At this Case laughed right out loud. Ah! says he, I see what ails you now. Galuchets been at you.Father Galoshes was the name he went by most, but Case always gave it the French quirk, which was another reason we had for thinking him above the common.

Yes, I have seen him, I says. I made out he didnt think much of your Captain Randall.

That he dont! says Case. It was the trouble about poor Adams. The last day, when he lay dying, there was young Buncombe round. Ever met Buncombe?

I told him no.

Hes a cure, is Buncombe! laughs Case. Well, Buncombe took it in his head that, as there was no other clergyman about, bar Kanaka pastors, we ought to call in Father Galuchet, and have the old man administered and take the sacrament. It was all the same to me, you may suppose; but I said I thought Adams was the fellow to consult. He was jawing away about watered copra and a sight of foolery. Look here, I said, youre pretty sick. Would you like to see Galoshes? He sat right up on his elbow. Get the priest, says he, get the priest; dont let me die here like a dog! He spoke kind of fierce and eager, but sensible enough. There was nothing to say against that, so we sent and asked Galuchet if he would come. You bet he would. He jumped in his dirty linen at the thought of it. But we had reckoned without Papa. Hes a hard-shell Baptist, is Papa; no Papists need apply. And he took and locked the door. Buncombe told him he was bigoted, and I thought he would have had a fit. Bigoted! he says. Me bigoted? Have I lived to hear it from a jackanapes like you? And he made for Buncombe, and I had to hold them apart; and there was Adams in the middle, gone luny again, and carrying on about copra like a born fool. It was good as the play, and I was about knocked out of time with laughing, when all of a sudden Adams sat up, clapped his hands to his chest, and went into the horrors. He died hard, did John Adams, says Case, with a kind of a sudden sternness.

And what became of the priest? I asked.

The priest? says Case. O! he was hammering on the door outside, and crying on the natives to come and beat it in, and singing out it was a soul he wished to save, and that. He was in a rare taking, was the priest. But what would you have? Johnny had slipped his cable; no more Johnny in the market; and the administration racket clean played out. Next thing, word came to Randall the priest was praying upon Johnnys grave. Papa was pretty full, and got a club, and lit out straight for the place, and there was Galoshes on his knees, and a lot of natives looking on. You wouldnt think Papa caredthat much about anything, unless it was liquor; but he and the priest stuck to it two hours, slanging each other in native, and every time Galoshes tried to kneel down Papa went for him with the club. There never were such larks in Falesá. The end of it was that Captain Randall knocked over with some kind of a fit or stroke, and the priest got in his goods after all. But he was the angriest priest you ever heard of, and complained to the chiefs about the outrage, as he called it. That was no account, for our chiefs are Protestant here; and, anyway, he had been making trouble about the drum for morning school, and they were glad to give him a wipe. Now he swears old Randall gave Adams poison or something, and when the two meet they grin at each other like baboons.

He told this story as natural as could be, and like a man that enjoyed the fun; though, now I come to think of it after so long, it seems rather a sickening yarn. However, Case never set up to be soft, only to be square and hearty, and a man all round; and, to tell the truth, he puzzled me entirely.

I went home and asked Uma if she were a Popey, which I had made out to be the native word for Catholics.

E le ai! says she. She always used the native when she meant no more than usually strong, and, indeed, theres more of it. No good Popey, she added.

Then I asked her about Adams and the priest, and she told me much the same yarn in her own way. So that I was left not much farther on, but inclined, upon the whole, to think the bottom of the matter was the row about the sacrament, and the poisoning only talk.

The next day was a Sunday, when there was no business to be looked for. Uma asked me in the morning if I was going to pray; I told her she bet not, and she stopped home herself with no more words. I thought this seemed unlike a native, and a native woman, and a woman that had new clothes to show off; however, it suited me to the ground, and I made the less of it. The queer thing was that I came next door to going to church after all, a thing Im little likely to forget. I had turned out for a stroll, and heard the hymn tune up. You know how it is. If you hear folk singing, it seems to draw you; and pretty soon I found myself alongside the church. It was a little long low place, coral built, rounded off at both ends like a whale-boat, a big native roof on the top of it, windows without sashes and doorways without doors. I stuck my head into one of the windows, and the sight was so new to mefor things went quite different in the islands I was acquainted withthat I stayed and looked on. The congregation sat on the floor on mats, the women on one side, the men on the other, all rigged out to killthe women with dresses and trade hats, the men in white jackets and shirts. The hymn was over; the pastor, a big buck Kanaka, was in the pulpit, preaching for his life; and by the way he wagged his hand, and worked his voice, and made his points, and seemed to argue with the folk, I made out he was a gun at the business. Well, he looked up suddenly and caught my eye, and I give you my word he staggered in the pulpit; his eyes bulged out of his head, his hand rose and pointed at me like as if against his will, and the sermon stopped right there.

It isnt a fine thing to say for yourself, but I ran away; and if the same kind of a shock was given me, I should run away again to-morrow. To see that palavering Kanaka struck all of a heap at the mere sight of me gave me a feeling as if the bottom had dropped out of the world. I went right home, and stayed there, and said nothing. You might think I would tell Uma, but that was against my system. You might have thought I would have gone over and consulted Case; but the truth was I was ashamed to speak of such a thing, I thought everyone would blurt out laughing in my face. So I held my tongue, and thought all the more; and the more I thought, the less I liked the business.

By Monday night I got it clearly in my head I must be tabooed. A new store to stand open two days in a village and not a man or woman come to see the trade was past believing.

Uma, said I, I think Im tabooed.

I think so, said she.

I thought awhile whether I should ask her more, but its a bad idea to set natives up with any notion of consulting them, so I went to Case. It was dark, and he was sitting alone, as he did mostly, smoking on the stairs.

Case, said I, heres a queer thing. Im tabooed.

O, fudge! says he; taint the practice in these islands.

That may be, or it maynt, said I. Its the practice where I was before. You can bet I know what its like; and I tell it you for a fact, Im tabooed.

Well, said he, what have you been doing?

Thats what I want to find out, said I.

O, you cant be, said he; it aint possible. However, Ill tell you what Ill do. Just to put your mind at rest, Ill go round and find out for sure. Just you waltz in and talk to Papa.

Thank you, I said, Id rather stay right out here on the verandah. Your house is so close.

Ill call Papa out here, then, says he.

My dear fellow, I says, I wish you wouldnt. The fact is, I dont take to Mr. Randall.

Case laughed, took a lantern from the store, and set out into the village. He was gone perhaps a quarter of an hour, and he looked mighty serious when he came back.

Well, said he, clapping down the lantern on the verandah steps, I would never have believed it. I dont know where the impudence of these Kanakas ll go next; they seem to have lost all idea of respect for whites. What we want is a man-of-wara German, if we couldthey know how to manage Kanakas.

I am tabooed, then? I cried.

Something of the sort, said he. Its the worst thing of the kind Ive heard of yet. But Ill stand by you, Wiltshire, man to man. You come round here to-morrow about nine, and well have it out with the chiefs. Theyre afraid of me, or they used to be; but their heads are so big by now, I dont know what to think. Understand me, Wiltshire; I dont count this your quarrel, he went on, with a great deal of resolution, I count it all of our quarrel, I count it the White Mans Quarrel, and Ill stand to it through thick and thin, and theres my hand on it.

Have you found out whats the reason? I asked.

Not yet, said Case. But well fix them down to-morrow.

Altogether I was pretty well pleased with his attitude, and almost more the next day, when we met to go before the chiefs, to see him so stern and resolved. The chiefs awaited us in one of their big oval houses, which was marked out to us from a long way off by the crowd about the eaves, a hundred strong if there was onemen, women, and children. Many of the men were on their way to work and wore green wreaths, and it put me in thoughts of the 1st of May at home. This crowd opened and buzzed about the pair of us as we went in, with a sudden angry animation. Five chiefs were there; four mighty stately men, the fifth old and puckered. They sat on mats in their white kilts and jackets; they had fans in their hands, like fine ladies; and two of the younger ones wore Catholic medals, which gave me matter of reflection. Our place was set, and the mats laid for us over against these grandees, on the near side of the house; the midst was empty; the crowd, close at our backs, murmured and craned and jostled to look on, and the shadows of them tossed in front of us on the clean pebbles of the floor. I was just a hair put out by the excitement of the commons, but the quiet civil appearance of the chiefs reassured me, all the more when their spokesman began and made a long speech in a low tone of voice, sometimes waving his hand towards Case, sometimes toward me, and sometimes knocking with his knuckles on the mat. One thing was clear: there was no sign of anger in the chiefs.

Whats he been saying? I asked, when he had done.

O, just that theyre glad to see you, and they understand by me you wish to make some kind of complaint, and youre to fire away, and theyll do the square thing.

It took a precious long time to say that, said I.

O, the rest was sawder and bonjour and that, said Case. You know what Kanakas are.

Well, they dont get much bonjour out of me, said I. You tell them who I am. Im a white man, and a British subject, and no end of a big chief at home; and Ive come here to do them good, and bring them civilisation; and no sooner have I got my trade sorted out than they go and taboo me, and no one dare come near my place! Tell them I dont mean to fly in the face of anything legal; and if what they wants a present, Ill do whats fair. I dont blame any man looking out for himself, tell them, for thats human nature; but if they think theyre going to come any of their native ideas over me, theyll find themselves mistaken. And tell them plain that I demand the reason of this treatment as a white man and a British subject.

That was my speech. I know how to deal with Kanakas: give them plain sense and fair dealing, andIll do them that much justicethey knuckle under every time. They havent any real government or any real law, thats what youve got to knock into their heads; and even if they had, it would be a good joke if it was to apply to a white man. It would be a strange thing if we came all this way and couldnt do what we pleased. The mere idea has always put my monkey up, and I rapped my speech out pretty big. Then Case translated itor made believe to, ratherand the first chief replied, and then a second, and a third, all in the same style, easy and genteel, but solemn underneath. Once a question was put to Case, and he answered it, and all hands (both chiefs and commons) laughed out aloud, and looked at me. Last of all, the puckered old fellow and the big young chief that spoke first started in to put Case through a kind of catechism. Sometimes I made out that Case was trying to fence, and they stuck to him like hounds, and the sweat ran down his face, which was no very pleasant sight to me, and at some of his answers the crowd moaned and murmured, which was a worse hearing. Its a cruel shame I knew no native, for (as I now believe) they were asking Case about my marriage, and he must have had a tough job of it to clear his feet. But leave Case alone; he had the brains to run a parliament.

Well, is that all? I asked, when a pause came.

Come along, says he, mopping his face; Ill tell you outside.

Do you mean they wont take the taboo off? I cried.

Its something queer, said he. Ill tell you outside. Better come away.

I wont take it at their hands, cried I. I aint that kind of a man. You dont find me turn my back on a parcel of Kanakas.

Youd better, said Case.

He looked at me with a signal in his eye; and the five chiefs looked at me civilly enough, but kind of pointed; and the people looked at me and craned and jostled. I remembered the folks that watched my house, and how the pastor had jumped in his pulpit at the bare sight of me; and the whole business seemed so out of the way that I rose and followed Case. The crowd opened again to let us through, but wider than before, the children on the skirts running and singing out, and as we two white men walked away they all stood and watched us.

And now, said I, what is all this about?

The truth is I cant rightly make it out myself. They have a down on you, says Case.

Taboo a man because they have a down on him! I cried. I never heard the like.

Its worse than that, you see, said Case. You aint tabooedI told you that couldnt be. The people wont go near you, Wiltshire, and theres where it is.

They wont go near me? What do you mean by that? Why wont they go near me? I cried.

Case hesitated. Seems theyre frightened, says he, in a low, voice.

I stopped dead short. Frightened? I repeated. Are you gone crazy, Case? What are they frightened of?

I wish I could make out, Case answered, shaking his head. Appears like one of their tomfool superstitions. Thats what I dont cotton to, he said. Its like the business about Vigours.

Id like to know what you mean by that, and Ill trouble you to tell me, says I.

Well, you know, Vigours lit out and left all standing, said he. It was some superstition businessI never got the hang of it but it began to look bad before the end.

Ive heard a different story about that, said I, and I had better tell you so. I heard he ran away because of you.

O! well, I suppose he was ashamed to tell the truth, says Case; I guess he thought it silly. And its a fact that I packed him off. What would you do, old man? says he. Get, says I, and not think twice about it. I was the gladdest kind of man to see him clear away. It aint my notion to turn my back on a mate when hes in a tight place, but there was that much trouble in the village that I couldnt see where it might likely end. I was a fool to be so much about with Vigours. They cast it up to me to-day. Didnt you hear Maeathats the young chief, the big oneripping out about Vika? That was him they were after. They dont seem to forget it, somehow.

This is all very well, said I, but it dont tell me whats wrong; it dont tell me what theyre afraid ofwhat their idea is.

Well, I wish I knew, said Case. I cant say fairer than that.

You might have asked, I think, says I.

And so I did, says he. But you must have seen for yourself, unless youre blind, that the asking got the other way. Ill go as far as I dare for another white man; but when I find Im in the scrape myself, I think first of my own bacon. The loss of me is Im too good-natured. And Ill take the freedom of telling you you show a queer kind of gratitude to a man whos got into all this mess along of your affairs.

Theres a thing I am thinking of, said I. You were a fool to be so much about with Vigours. One comfort, you havent been much about with me. I notice youve never been inside my house. Own up now; you had word of this before?

Its a fact I havent been, said he. It was an oversight, and I am sorry for it, Wiltshire. But about coming now, Ill be quite plain.

You mean you wont? I asked.

Awfully sorry, old man, but thats the size of it, says Case.

In short, youre afraid? says I.

In short, Im afraid, says he.

And Im still to be tabooed for nothing? I asked

I tell you youre not tabooed, said he. The Kanakas wont go near you, thats all. And whos to make em? We traders have a lot of gall, I must say; we make these poor Kanakas take back their laws, and take up their taboos, and that, whenever it happens to suit us. But you dont mean to say you expect a law obliging people to deal in your store whether they want to or not? You dont mean to tell me youve got the gall for that? And if you had, it would be a queer thing to propose to me. I would just like to point out to you, Wiltshire, that Im a trader myself.

I dont think I would talk of gall if I was you, said I. Heres about what it comes to, as well as I can make out: None of the people are to trade with me, and theyre all to trade with you. Youre to have the copra, and Im to go to the devil and shake myself. And I dont know any native, and youre the only man here worth mention that speaks English, and you have the gall to up and hint to me my lifes in danger, and all youve got to tell me is you dont know why!

Well, it is all I have to tell you, said he. I dont knowI wish I did.

And so you turn your back and leave me to myself! Is that the position? says I.

If you like to put it nasty, says he. I dont put it so. I say merely, Im going to keep clear of you; or, if I dont, Ill get in danger for myself.

Well, says I, youre a nice kind of a white man!

O, I understand; youre riled, said he. I would be myself. I can make excuses.

All right, I said, go and make excuses somewhere else. Heres my way, theres yours!

With that we parted, and I went straight home, in a hot temper, and found Uma trying on a lot of trade goods like a baby.

Here, I said, you quit that foolery! Heres a pretty mess to have made, as if I wasnt bothered enough anyway! And I thought I told you to get dinner!

And then I believe I gave her a bit of the rough side of my tongue, as she deserved. She stood up at once, like a sentry to his officer; for I must say she was always well brought up, and had a great respect for whites.

And now, says I, you belong round here, youre bound to understand this. What am I tabooed for, anyway? Or, if I aint tabooed, what makes the folks afraid of me?

She stood and looked at me with eyes like saucers.

You no savvy? she gasps at last.

No, said I. How would you expect me to? We dont have any such craziness where I come from.

Ese no tell you? she asked again.

(Ese was the name the natives had for Case; it may mean foreign, or extraordinary; or it might mean a mummy apple; but most like it was only his own name misheard and put in a Kanaka spelling.)

Not much, said I.

D-n Ese! she cried.

You might think it funny to hear this Kanaka girl come out with a big swear. No such thing. There was no swearing in herno, nor anger; she was beyond anger, and meant the word simple and serious. She stood there straight as she said it. I cannot justly say that I ever saw a woman look like that before or after, and it struck me mum. Then she made a kind of an obeisance, but it was the proudest kind, and threw her hands out open.

I shamed, she said. I think you savvy. Ese he tell me you savvy, he tell me you no mind, tell me you love me too much. Taboo belong me, she said, touching herself on the bosom, as she had done upon our wedding-night. Now I go way, taboo he go way too. Then you get too much copra. You like more better, I think. Tofâ, alii, says she in the nativeFarewell, chief!

Hold on! I cried. Dont be in such a hurry.

She looked at me sidelong with a smile. You see, you get copra, she said, the same as you might offer candies to a child.

Uma, said I, hear reason. I didnt know, and thats a fact; and Case seems to have played it pretty mean upon the pair of us. But I do know now, and I dont mind; I love you too much. You no go way, you no leave me, I too much sorry.

You no love, me, she cried, you talk me bad words! And she threw herself in a corner of the floor, and began to cry.

Well, Im no scholar, but I wasnt born yesterday, and I thought the worst of that trouble was over. However, there she layher back turned, her face to the walland shook with sobbing like a little child, so that her feet jumped with it. Its strange how it hits a man when hes in love; for theres no use mincing thingsKanaka and all, I was in love with her, or just as good. I tried to take her hand, but she would none of that. Uma, I said, theres no sense in carrying on like this. I want you stop here, I want my little wifie, I tell you true.

No tell me true, she sobbed.

All right, says I, Ill wait till youre through with this. And I sat right down beside her on the floor, and set to smooth her hair with my hand. At first she wriggled away when I touched her; then she seemed to notice me no more; then her sobs grew gradually less, and presently stopped; and the next thing I knew, she raised her face to mime.

You tell me true? You like me stop? she asked.

Uma, I said, I would rather have you than all the copra in the South Seas, which was a very big expression, and the strangest thing was that I meant it.

She threw her arms about me, sprang close up, and pressed her face to mine in the island way of kissing, so that I was all wetted with her tears, and my heart went out to her wholly. I never had anything so near me as this little brown bit of a girl. Many things went together, and all helped to turn my head. She was pretty enough to eat; it seemed she was my only friend in that queer place; I was ashamed that I had spoken rough to her: and she was a woman, and my wife, and a kind of a baby besides that I was sorry for; and the salt of her tears was in my mouth. And I forgot Case and the natives; and I forgot that I knew nothing of the story, or only remembered it to banish the remembrance; and I forgot that I was to get no copra, and so could make no livelihood; and I forgot my employers, and the strange kind of service I was doing them, when I preferred my fancy to their business; and I forgot even that Uma was no true wife of mine, but just a maid beguiled, and that in a pretty shabby style. But that is to look too far on. I will come to that part of it next.

It was late before we thought of getting dinner. The stove was out, and gone stone-cold; but we fired up after a while, and cooked each a dish, helping and hindering each other, and making a play of it like children. I was so greedy of her nearness that I sat down to dinner with my lass upon my knee, made sure of her with one hand, and ate with the other. Ay, and more than that. She was the worst cook I suppose God made; the things she set her hand to it would have sickened an honest horse to eat of; yet I made my meal that day on Umas cookery, and can never call to mind to have been better pleased.

I didnt pretend to myself, and I didnt pretend to her. I saw I was clean gone; and if she was to make a fool of me, she must. And I suppose it was this that set her talking, for now she made sure that we were friends. A lot she told me, sitting in my lap and eating my dish, as I ate hers, from foolerya lot about herself and her mother and Case, all which would be very tedious, and fill sheets if I set it down in Beach de Mar, but which I must give a hint of in plain English, and one thing about myself which had a very big effect on my concerns, as you are soon to hear.

It seems she was born in one of the Line Islands; had been only two or three years in these parts, where she had come with a white man, who was married to her mother and then died; and only the one year in Falesá. Before that they had been a good deal on the move, trekking about after the white man, who was one of those rolling stones that keep going round after a soft job. They talk about looking for gold at the end of a rainbow; but if a man wants an employment thatll last him till he dies, let him start out on the soft-job hunt. Theres meat and drink in it too, and beer and skittles, for you never hear of them starving, and rarely see them sober; and as for steady sport, cock-fighting isnt in the same county with it. Anyway, this beachcomber carried the woman and her daughter all over the shop, but mostly to out-of-the-way islands, where there were no police, and he thought, perhaps, the soft job hung out. Ive my own view of this old party; but I was just as glad he had kept Uma clear of Apia and Papeete and these flash towns. At last he struck Fale-alii on this island, got some tradethe Lord knows how!muddled it all away in the usual style, and died worth next to nothing, bar a bit of land at Falesá that he had got for a bad debt, which was what put it in the minds of the mother and daughter to come there and live. It seems Case encouraged them all he could, and helped to get their house built. He was very kind those days, and gave Uma trade, and there is no doubt he had his eye on her from the beginning. However, they had scarce settled, when up turned a young man, a native, and wanted to marry her. He was a small chief, and had some fine mats and old songs in his family, and was very pretty, Uma said; and, altogether, it was an extraordinary match for a penniless girl and an out-islander.

At the first word of this I got downright sick with jealousy.

And you mean to say you would have married him? I cried.

Ioe, yes, said she. I like too much!

Well! I said. And suppose I had come round after?

I like you more better now, said she. But, suppose I marry Ioane, I one good wife. I no common Kanaka. Good girl! says she.

Well, I had to be pleased with that; but I promise you I didnt care about the business one little bit. And I liked the end of that yarn no better than the beginning. For it seems this proposal of marriage was the start of all the trouble. It seems, before that, Uma and her mother had been looked down upon, of course, for kinless folk and out-islanders, but nothing to hurt; and, even when Ioane came forward, there was less trouble at first than might have been looked for. And then, all of a sudden, about six months before my coming, Ioane backed out and left that part of the island, and from that day to this Uma and her mother had found themselves alone. None called at their house, none spoke to them on the roads. If they went to church, the other women drew their mats away and left them in a clear place by themselves. It was a regular excommunication, like what you read of in the Middle Ages; and the cause or sense of it beyond guessing. It was some tala pepelo, Uma said, some lie, some calumny; and all she knew of it was that the girls who had been jealous of her luck with Ioane used to twit her with his desertion, and cry out, when they met her alone in the woods, that she would never be married. They tell me no man he marry me. He too much fraid, she said.

The only soul that came about them after this desertion was Master Case. Even he was chary of showing himself, and turned up mostly by night; and pretty soon he began to table his cards and make up to Uma. I was still sore about Ioane, and when Case turned up in the same line of business I cut up downright rough.

Well, I said, sneering, and I suppose you thought Case very pretty and liked too much?

Now you talk silly, said she. White man, he come here, I marry him all-e-same Kanaka; very well then, he marry me all-e-same white woman. Suppose he no marry, he go way, woman he stop. All-e-same thief, empty hand, Tonga-heartno can love! Now you come marry me. You big heartyou no shamed island-girl. That thing I love you for too much. I proud.

I dont know that ever I felt sicker all the days of my life. I laid down my fork, and I put away the island-girl; I didnt seem somehow to have any use for either, and I went and walked up and down in the house, and Uma followed me with her eyes, for she was troubled, and small wonder! But troubled was no word for it with me. I so wanted, and so feared, to make a clean breast of the sweep that I had been.

And just then there came a sound of singing out of the sea; it sprang up suddenly clear and near, as the boat turned the headland, and Uma, running to the window, cried out it was Misi come upon his rounds.

I thought it was a strange thing I should be glad to have a missionary; but, if it was strange, it was still true.

Uma, said I, you stop here in this room, and dont budge a foot out of it till I come back.


As I came out on the verandah, the mission-boat was shooting for the mouth of the river. She was a long whale-boat painted white; a bit of an awning astern; a native pastor crouched on the wedge of the poop, steering; some four-and-twenty paddles flashing and dipping, true to the boat-song; and the missionary under the awning, in his white clothes, reading in a book, and set him up! It was pretty to see and hear; theres no smarter sight in the islands than a missionary boat with a good crew and a good pipe to them; and I considered it for half a minute, with a bit of envy perhaps, and then strolled down towards the river.

From the opposite side there was another man aiming for the same place, but he ran and got there first. It was Case; doubtless his idea was to keep me apart from the missionary, who might serve me as interpreter; but my mind was upon other things. I was thinking how he had jockeyed us about the marriage, and tried his hand on Uma before; and at the sight of him rage flew into my nostrils.

Get out of that, you low, swindling thief! I cried.

Whats that you say? says he.

I gave him the word again, and rammed it down with a good oath. And if ever I catch you within six fathoms of my house, I cried, Ill clap a bullet in your measly carcase.

You must do as you like about your house, said he, where I told you I have no thought of going; but this is a public place.

Its a place where I have private business, said I. I have no idea of a hound like you eavesdropping, and I give you notice to clear out.

I dont take it, though, says Case.

Ill show you, then, said I.

Well have to see about that, said he.

He was quick with his hands, but he had neither the height nor the weight, being a flimsy creature alongside a man like me, and, besides, I was blazing to that height of wrath that I could have bit into a chisel. I gave him first the one and then the other, so that I could hear his head rattle and crack, and he went down straight.

Have you had enough? cried I. But he only looked up white and blank, and the blood spread upon his face like wine upon a napkin. Have you had enough? I cried again. Speak up, and dont lie malingering there, or Ill take my feet to you.

He sat up at that, and held his headby the look of him you could see it was spinningand the blood poured on his pyjamas.

Ive had enough for this time, says he, and he got up staggering, and went off by the way that he had come.

The boat was close in; I saw the missionary had laid his book to one side, and I smiled to myself. Hell know Im a man, anyway, thinks I.

This was the first time, in all my years in the Pacific, I had ever exchanged two words with any missionary, let alone asked one for a favour. I didnt like the lot, no trader does; they look down upon us, and make no concealment; and, besides, theyre partly Kanakaised, and suck up with natives instead of with other white men like themselves. I had on a rig of clean striped pyjamasfor, of course, I had dressed decent to go before the chiefs; but when I saw the missionary step out of this boat in the regular uniform, white duck clothes, pith helmet, white shirt and tie, and yellow boots to his feet, I could have bunged stones at him. As he came nearer, queering me pretty curious (because of the fight, I suppose), I saw he looked mortal sick, for the truth was he had a fever on, and had just had a chill in the boat.

Mr. Tarleton, I believe? says I, for I had got his name.

And you, I suppose, are the new trader? says he.

I want to tell you first that I dont hold with missions, I went on, and that I think you and the likes of you do a sight of harm, filling up the natives with old wives tales and bumptiousness.

You are perfectly entitled to your opinions, says he, looking a bit ugly, but I have no call to hear them.

It so happens that youve got to hear them, I said. Im no missionary, nor missionary lover; Im no Kanaka, nor favourer of KanakasIm just a trader; Im just a common, low-down, God-damned white man and British subject, the sort you would like to wipe your boots on. I hope thats plain!

Yes, my man, said he. Its more plain than creditable. When you are sober, youll be sorry for this.

He tried to pass on, but I stopped him with my hand. The Kanakas were beginning to growl. Guess they didnt like my tone, for I spoke to that man as free as I would to you.

Now, you cant say Ive deceived you, said I, and I can go on. I want a serviceI want two services, in fact; and, if you care to give me them, Ill perhaps take more stock in what you call your Christianity.

He was silent for a moment. Then he smiled. You are rather a strange sort of man, says he.

Im the sort of man God made me, says I. I dont set up to be a gentleman, I said.

I am not quite so sure, said he. And what can I do for you, Mr.?

Wiltshire, I says, though Im mostly called Welsher; but Wiltshire is the way its spelt, if the people on the beach could only get their tongues about it. And what do I want? Well, Ill tell you the first thing. Im what you call a sinnerwhat I call a sweepand I want you to help me make it up to a person Ive deceived.

He turned and spoke to his crew in the native. And now I am at your service, said he, but only for the time my crew are dining. I must be much farther down the coast before night. I was delayed at Papa-Malulu till this morning, and I have an engagement in Fale-alii to-morrow night.

I led the way to my house in silence, and rather pleased with myself for the way I had managed the talk, for I like a man to keep his self-respect.

I was sorry to see you fighting, says he.

O, thats part of the yarn I want to tell you, I said. Thats service number two. After youve heard it youll let me know whether youre sorry or not.

We walked right in through the store, and I was surprised to find Uma had cleared away the dinner things. This was so unlike her ways that I saw she had done it out of gratitude, and liked her the better. She and Mr. Tarleton called each other by name, and he was very civil to her seemingly. But I thought little of that; they can always find civility for a Kanaka, its us white men they lord it over. Besides, I didnt want much Tarleton just them. I was going to do my pitch.

Uma, said I, give us your marriage certificate. She looked put out. Come, said I, you can trust me. Hand it up.

She had it about her person, as usual; I believe she thought it was a pass to heaven, and if she died without having it handy she would go to hell. I couldnt see where she put it the first time, I couldnt see now where she took it from; it seemed to jump into her hand like that Blavatsky business in the papers. But its the same way with all island women, and I guess theyre taught it when young.

Now, said I, with the certificate in my hand, I was married to this girl by Black Jack the negro. The certificate was wrote by Case, and its a dandy piece of literature, I promise you. Since then Ive found that theres a kind of cry in the place against this wife of mine, and so long as I keep her I cannot trade. Now, what would any man do in my place, if he was a man? I said. The first thing he would do is this, I guess. And I took and tore up the certificate and bunged the pieces on the floor.

Aué! {2} cried Uma, and began to clap her hands; but I caught one of them in mine.

And the second thing that he would do, said I, if he was what I would call a man and you would call a man, Mr. Tarleton, is to bring the girl right before you or any other missionary, and to up and say: I was wrong married to this wife of mine, but I think a heap of her, and now I want to be married to her right. Fire away, Mr. Tarleton. And I guess youd better do it in native; itll please the old lady, I said, giving her the proper name of a mans wife upon the spot.

So we had in two of the crew for to witness, and were spliced in our own house; and the parson prayed a good bit, I must saybut not so long as someand shook hands with the pair of us.

Mr. Wiltshire, he says, when he had made out the lines and packed off the witnesses, I have to thank you for a very lively pleasure. I have rarely performed the marriage ceremony with more grateful emotions.

That was what you would call talking. He was going on, besides, with more of it, and I was ready for as much taffy as he had in stock, for I felt good. But Uma had been taken up with something half through the marriage, and cut straight in.

How your hand he get hurt? she asked.

You ask Cases head, old lady, says I.

She jumped with joy, and sang out.

You havent made much of a Christian of this one, says I to Mr. Tarleton.

We didnt think her one of our worst, says he, when she was at Fale-alii; and if Uma bears malice I shall be tempted to fancy she has good cause.

Well, there we are at service number two, said I. I want to tell you our yarn, and see if you can let a little daylight in.

Is it long? he asked.

Yes, I cried; its a goodish bit of a yarn!

Well, Ill give you all the time I can spare, says he, looking at his watch. But I must tell you fairly, I havent eaten since five this morning, and, unless you can let me have something I am not likely to eat again before seven or eight to-night.

By God, well give you dinner! I cried.

I was a little caught up at my swearing, just when all was going straight; and so was the missionary, I suppose, but he made believe to look out of the window, and thanked us.

So we ran him up a bit of a meal. I was bound to let the old lady have a hand in it, to show off, so I deputised her to brew the tea. I dont think I ever met such tea as she turned out. But that was not the worst, for she got round with the salt-box, which she considered an extra European touch, and turned my stew into sea-water. Altogether, Mr. Tarleton had a devil of a dinner of it; but he had plenty entertainment by the way, for all the while that we were cooking, and afterwards, when he was making believe to eat, I kept posting him up on Master Case and the beach of Falesá, and he putting questions that showed he was following close.

Well, said he at last, I am afraid you have a dangerous enemy. This man Case is very clever and seems really wicked. I must tell you I have had my eye on him for nearly a year, and have rather had the worst of our encounters. About the time when the last representative of your firm ran so suddenly away, I had a letter from Namu, the native pastor, begging me to come to Falesá at my earliest convenience, as his flock were all adopting Catholic practices. I had great confidence in Namu; I fear it only shows how easily we are deceived. No one could hear him preach and not be persuaded he was a man of extraordinary parts. All our islanders easily acquire a kind of eloquence, and can roll out and illustrate, with a great deal of vigour and fancy, second-hand sermons; but Namus sermons are his own, and I cannot deny that I have found them means of grace. Moreover, he has a keen curiosity in secular things, does not fear work, is clever at carpentering, and has made himself so much respected among the neighbouring pastors that we call him, in a jest which is half serious, the Bishop of the East. In short, I was proud of the man; all the more puzzled by his letter, and took an occasion to come this way. The morning before my arrival, Vigours had been sent on board the Lion, and Namu was perfectly at his ease, apparently ashamed of his letter, and quite unwilling to explain it. This, of course, I could not allow, and he ended by confessing that he had been much concerned to find his people using the sign of the cross, but since he had learned the explanation his mind was satisfied. For Vigours had the Evil Eye, a common thing in a country of Europe called Italy, where men were often struck dead by that kind of devil, and it appeared the sign of the cross was a charm against its power.

And I explain it, Misi, said Namu, in this way: The country in Europe is a Popey country, and the devil of the Evil Eye may be a Catholic devil, or, at least, used to Catholic ways. So then I reasoned thus: if this sign of the cross were used in a Popey manner it would be sinful, but when it is used only to protect men from a devil, which is a thing harmless in itself, the sign too must be, as a bottle is neither good nor bad, harmless. For the sign is neither good nor bad. But if the bottle be full of gin, the gin is bad; and if the sign be made in idolatry bad, so is the idolatry. And, very like a native pastor, he had a text apposite about the casting out of devils.

And who has been telling you about the Evil Eye? I asked.

He admitted it was Case. Now, I am afraid you will think me very narrow, Mr. Wiltshire, but I must tell you I was displeased, and cannot think a trader at all a good man to advise or have an influence upon my pastors. And, besides, there had been some flying talk in the country of old Adams and his being poisoned, to which I had paid no great heed; but it came back to me at the moment.

And is this Case a man of a sanctified life? I asked.

He admitted he was not; for, though he did not drink, he was profligate with women, and had no religion.

Then, said I, I think the less you have to do with him the better.

But it is not easy to have the last word with a man like Namu. He was ready in a moment with an illustration. Misi, said he, you have told me there were wise men, not pastors, not even holy, who knew many things useful to be taughtabout trees for instance, and beasts, and to print books, and about the stones that are burned to make knives of. Such men teach you in your college, and you learn from them, but take care not to learn to be unholy. Misi, Case is my college.

I knew not what to say. Mr. Vigours had evidently been driven out of Falesá by the machinations of Case and with something not very unlike the collusion of my pastor. I called to mind it was Namu who had reassured me about Adams and traced the rumour to the ill-will of the priest. And I saw I must inform myself more thoroughly from an impartial source. There is an old rascal of a chief here, Faiaso, whom I dare say you saw to-day at the council; he has been all his life turbulent and sly, a great fomenter of rebellions, and a thorn in the side of the mission and the island. For all that he is very shrewd, and, except in politics or about his own misdemeanours, a teller of the truth. I went to his house, told him what I had heard, and besought him to be frank. I do not think I had ever a more painful interview. Perhaps you will understand me, Mr. Wiltshire, if I tell you that I am perfectly serious in these old wives tales with which you reproached me, and as anxious to do well for these islands as you can be to please and to protect your pretty wife. And you are to remember that I thought Namu a paragon, and was proud of the man as one of the first ripe fruits of the mission. And now I was informed that he had fallen in a sort of dependence upon Case. The beginning of it was not corrupt; it began, doubtless, in fear and respect, produced by trickery and pretence; but I was shocked to find that another element had been lately added, that Namu helped himself in the store, and was believed to be deep in Cases debt. Whatever the trader said, that Namu believed with trembling. He was not alone in this; many in the village lived in a similar subjection; but Namus case was the most influential, it was through Namu Case had wrought most evil; and with a certain following among the chiefs, and the pastor in his pocket, the man was as good as master of the village. You know something of Vigours and Adams, but perhaps you have never heard of old Underhill, Adams predecessor. He was a quiet, mild old fellow, I remember, and we were told he had died suddenly: white men die very suddenly in Falesá. The truth, as I now heard it, made my blood run cold. It seems he was struck with a general palsy, all of him dead but one eye, which he continually winked. Word was started that the helpless old man was now a devil, and this vile fellow Case worked upon the natives fears, which he professed to share, and pretended he durst not go into the house alone. At last a grave was dug, and the living body buried at the far end of the village. Namu, my pastor, whom I had helped to educate, offered up a prayer at the hateful scene.

I felt myself in a very difficult position. Perhaps it was my duty to have denounced Namu and had him deposed. Perhaps I think so now, but at the time it seemed less clear. He had a great influence, it might prove greater than mine. The natives are prone to superstition; perhaps by stirring them up I might but ingrain and spread these dangerous fancies. And Namu besides, apart from this novel and accursed influence, was a good pastor, an able man, and spiritually minded. Where should I look for a better? How was I to find as good? At that moment, with Namus failure fresh in my view, the work of my life appeared a mockery; hope was dead in me. I would rather repair such tools as I had than go abroad in quest of others that must certainly prove worse; and a scandal is, at the best, a thing to be avoided when humanly possible. Right or wrong, then, I determined on a quiet course. All that night I denounced and reasoned with the erring pastor, twitted him with his ignorance and want of faith, twitted him with his wretched attitude, making clean the outside of the cup and platter, callously helping at a murder, childishly flying in excitement about a few childish, unnecessary, and inconvenient gestures; and long before day I had him on his knees and bathed in the tears of what seemed a genuine repentance. On Sunday I took the pulpit in the morning, and preached from First Kings, nineteenth, on the fire, the earthquake, and the voice, distinguishing the true spiritual power, and referring with such plainness as I dared to recent events in Falesá. The effect produced was great, and it was much increased when Namu rose in his turn and confessed that he had been wanting in faith and conduct, and was convinced of sin. So far, then, all was well; but there was one unfortunate circumstance. It was nearing the time of our May in the island, when the native contributions to the missions are received; it fell in my duty to make a notification on the subject, and this gave my enemy his chance, by which he was not slow to profit.

News of the whole proceedings must have been carried to Case as soon as church was over, and the same afternoon he made an occasion to meet me in the midst of the village. He came up with so much intentness and animosity that I felt it would be damaging to avoid him.

So, says he, in native, here is the holy man. He has been preaching against me, but that was not in his heart. He has been preaching upon the love of God; but that was not in his heart, it was between his teeth. Will you know what was in his heart?cries he. I will show it you! And, making a snatch at my head, he made believe to pluck out a dollar, and held it in the air.

There went that rumour through the crowd with which Polynesians receive a prodigy. As for myself, I stood amazed. The thing was a common conjuring trick which I have seen performed at home a score of times; but how was I to convince the villagers of that? I wished I had learned legerdemain instead of Hebrew, that I might have paid the fellow out with his own coin. But there I was; I could not stand there silent, and the best I could find to say was weak.

I will trouble you not to lay hands on me again, said I.

I have no such thought, said he, nor will I deprive you of your dollar. Here it is, he said, and flung it at my feet. I am told it lay where it fell three days.

I must say it was well played, said I.

O! he is clever, said Mr. Tarleton, and you can now see for yourself how dangerous. He was a party to the horrid death of the paralytic; he is accused of poisoning Adams; he drove Vigours out of the place by lies that might have led to murder; and there is no question but he has now made up his mind to rid himself of you. How he means to try we have no guess; only be sure, its something new. There is no end to his readiness and invention.

He gives himself a sight of trouble, says I. And after all, what for?

Why, how many tons of copra may they make in this district? asked the missionary.

I daresay as much as sixty tons, says I.

And what is the profit to the local trader? he asked.

You may call it, three pounds, said I.

Then you can reckon for yourself how much he does it for, said Mr. Tarleton. But the more important thing is to defeat him. It is clear he spread some report against Uma, in order to isolate and have his wicked will of her. Failing of that, and seeing a new rival come upon the scene, he used her in a different way. Now, the first point to find out is about Namu. Uma, when people began to leave you and your mother alone, what did Namu do?

Stop away all-e-same, says Uma.

I fear the dog has returned to his vomit, said Mr. Tarleton. And now what am I to do for you? I will speak to Namu, I will warn him he is observed; it will be strange if he allow anything to go on amiss when he is put upon his guard. At the same time, this precaution may fail, and then you must turn elsewhere. You have two people at hand to whom you might apply. There is, first of all, the priest, who might protect you by the Catholic interest; they are a wretchedly small body, but they count two chiefs. And then there is old Faiaso. Ah! if it had been some years ago you would have needed no one else; but his influence is much reduced, it has gone into Maeas hands, and Maea, I fear, is one of Cases jackals. In fine, if the worst comes to the worst, you must send up or come yourself to Fale-alii, and, though I am not due at this end of the island for a month, I will just see what can be done.

So Mr. Tarleton said farewell; and half an hour later the crew were singing and the paddles flashing in the missionary-boat.


Near a month went by without much doing. The same night of our marriage Galoshes called round, and made himself mighty civil, and got into a habit of dropping in about dark and smoking his pipe with the family. He could talk to Uma, of course, and started to teach me native and French at the same time. He was a kind old buffer, though the dirtiest you would wish to see, and he muddled me up with foreign languages worse than the tower of Babel.

That was one employment we had, and it made me feel less lonesome; but there was no profit in the thing, for though the priest came and sat and yarned, none of his folks could be enticed into my store; and if it hadnt been for the other occupation I struck out, there wouldnt have been a pound of copra in the house. This was the idea: Faavao (Umas mother) had a score of bearing trees. Of course we could get no labour, being all as good as tabooed, and the two women and I turned to and made copra with our own hands. It was copra to make your mouth water when it was doneI never understood how much the natives cheated me till I had made that four hundred pounds of my own handand it weighed so light I felt inclined to take and water it myself.

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