[Frontispiece: Adeline in her garden.]
PLAIN AND PERFECT
Willard Johnson, No. 141, South Street
Peter Piper, without Pretension to Precocity or Profoundness, Puts Pen to Paper to Produce these Puzzling Pages, Purposely to Please the Palates of Pretty Prattling Playfellows, Proudly Presuming that with Proper Penetration it will Probably, and Perhaps Positively, Prove a Peculiarly Pleasant and Profitable Path to Proper, Plain and Precise Pronunciation.
He Prays Parents to Purchase this Playful Performance, Partly to Pay him for his Patience and Pains; Partly to Provide for the Printers and Publishers; but Principally to Prevent the Pernicious Prevalence of Perverse Pronunciation.
Andrew Airpump ask'd his Aunt her ailment; Did Andrew Airpump ask his Aunt her ailment? If Andrew Airpump ask'd his Aunt her ailment, Where was the Ailment of Andrew Airpump's Aunt?
Billy Button bought a butter'd Biscuit: Did Billy Button buy a butter'd Biscuit? If Billy Button bought a butter'd Biscuit, Where's the butter'd Biscuit Billy Button bought?
Captain Crackskull crack'd a Catchpoll's Cockscomb: Did Captain Crackskull crack a Catchpoll's Cockscomb? If Captain Crackskull crack'd a Catchpoll's Cockscomb, Where's the Catchpoll's Cockscomb Captain Crackskull crack'd?
Davy Dolldrum dream'd he drove a Dragon: Did Davy Dolldrum dream he drove a dragon? If Davy Dolldrum dream'd he drove a dragon Where's the dragon Davy Dolldrum dream'd he drove?
Enoch Elkrig ate an empty Eggshell: Did Enoch Elkrig eat an empty Eggshell? If Enoch Elkrig ate an empty Eggshell, Where's the empty eggshell Enoch Elkrig ate?
Francis Fribble figured on a Frenchman's Filly: Did Francis Fribble figure on a Frenchman's Filly? If Francis Fribble figured on a Frenchman's Filly, Where's the Frenchman's Filly Francis Fribble figured on?
Gaffer Gilpin got a Goose and Gander: Did Gaffer Gilpin get a Goose and Gander? If Gaffer Gilpin got a Goose and Gander, Where's the Goose and Gander Gaffer Gilpin got?
Humphrey Hunchback had a hundred Hedgehogs: Did Humphrey Hunchback have a hundred Hedgehogs? If Humphrey Hunchback had a hundred Hedgehogs, Where's the hundred Hedgehogs Humphrey Hunchback had?
Inigo Impey itched for an Indian Image: Did Inigo Impey itch for an Indian Image? If Inigo Impey itched for an Indian Image, Where's the Indian Image Inigo Impey itch'd for?
Jumping Jackey jeer'd a Jesting Juggler: Did Jumping Jackey jeer a Jesting Juggler? If Jumping Jackey jeer'd a Jesting Juggler, Where's the Jesting Juggler Jumping Jackey jeer'd?
Kimbo Kemble kicked his Kinsman's Kettle: Did Kimbo Kemble kick his Kinsman's Kettle? If Kimbo Kemble kick'd his Kinsman's Kettle, Where's the Kinsman's Kettle Kimbo Kemble kick'd?
Lanky Lawrence lost his Lass and Lobster: Did Lanky Lawrence lose his Lass and Lobster? If Lanky Lawrence lost his Lass and Lobster, Where are the Lass and Lobster Lanky Lawrence lost?
Matthew Mendlegs miss'd a mangled Monkey Did Matthew Mendlegs miss a mangled Monkey? If Matthew Mendlegs miss'd a mangled Monkey, Where's the mangled Monkey Matthew Mendlegs miss'd?
Neddy Noodle nipp'd his neighbour's Nutmegs; Did Neddy Noodle nip his neighbour's Nutmegs? If Neddy Noodle nipp'd his neighbour's Nutmegs, Where are the neighbour's Nutmegs Neddy Noodle nipp'd?
Oliver Oglethorpe ogled an Owl and Oyster: Did Oliver Oglethorpe ogle an Owl and Oyster? If Oliver Oglethorpe ogled an Owl and Oyster, Where are the Owl and Oyster Oliver Oglethorpe ogled?
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled Peppers: Did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled Peppers? If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled Peppers, Where's the peck of pickled Peppers Peter Piper picked?
Quixote Quicksight quiz'd a queerish Quidbox: Did Quixote Quicksight quiz a queerish Quidbox? If Quixote Quicksight quiz'd a queerish Quidbox, Where's the queerish Quidbox Quixote Quicksight quiz'd?
Rory Rumpus rode a raw-bon'd Race-horse: Did Rory Rumpus ride a raw-bon'd Race-horse? If Rory Rumpus rode a raw-bon'd Race-horse, Where's the raw-bon'd Race-horse Rory Rumpus rode?
Sammy Smellie smelt a smell of Small-coal: Did Sammy Smellie smell a smelt of Small-coal? If Sammy Smellie smelt a smell of Small-coal, Where's the smell of Small-coal Sammy Smellie smelt?
Tip-toe Tommy turn'd a Turk for Two-pence: Did Tip-toe Tommy turn a Turk for Two-pence? If Tip-toe Tommy turn'd a Turk for Two-pence, Where's the Turk for Two-pence Tip-toe Tommy turn'd?
Uncle's Usher urg'd an ugly Urchin: Did Uncle's Usher urge an ugly Urchin? If Uncle's Usher urg'd an ugly Urchin, Where's the ugly Urchin Uncle's Usher urg'd?
Villiam Veedon vip'd his Vig and Vaistcoat: Did Villiam Veedon vipe his Vig and Vaistcoat? If Villiam Veedon vip'd his Vig and Vaistcoat, Where are the Vig and Vaistcoat Villiam Veedon vip'd?
Walter Waddle won a Walking Wager: Did Walter Waddle win a Walking Wager? If Walter Waddle won a Walking Wager, Where's the Walking Wager Walter Waddle won?
X Y and Z have made my brains to crack-o: X smokes, Y snuffs, and Z chews tobacco; Yet oft by X Y Z much learning's taught, But PETER PIPER, beats them all to naught.
I'm not too young for GOD to see: He knows my name and nature too, And all day long he looks at me, And sees my actions through and through.
He listens to the words I say, And knows the thoughts I have within, And whether I'm at work or play, He's sure to see me if I sin.
Oh! how could children tell a lie, Or cheat in play, or steal, or fight, If they remembered GOD was by, And had them always in his sight!
If some good minister is near, It makes us careful what we do; And how much more ought we to fear The LORD who sees us through and through
Then when I want to do amiss, However pleasant it may be, I'll always try to think of this— I'm not too young for GOD to see!