.THE. .ABSURD. A.B.C
.JOHN.LANE. .THE.BODLEY.HEAD. .LONDON.&.NEW. .YORK.
The absurd ABC originally published 1874.
A for the APPLE or Alphabet pie, Which all get a slice of. Come taste it & try.
B is the BABY who gave Mr Bunting Full many a long day's rabbit skin hunting.
C for the CAT that played on the fiddle, When cows jumped higher than 'Heigh Diddle Diddle!'
D for the DAME with her pig at the stile, 'Tis said they got over, but not yet a while.
E for the Englishman, ready to make fast The giant who wanted to have him for breakfast.
F for the Frog in the story you know, Begun with a wooing but ending in woe.
G for Goosey Gander who wandered upstairs, And met the old man who objected to prayers.
H for poor Humpty who after his fall, Felt obliged to resign his seat on the wall.
I for the Inn where they wouldn't give beer, To one with too much and no money, I fear.
J does for poor Jack and also for Jill, Who had so disastrous a tumble down hill.
K for calm Kitty, at dinner who sat, While all the good folks watched the dog & the cat.
L for Little man, gun and bullets complete, Who shot the poor duck, and was proud of the feat.
M for Miss Muffet, with that horrid spider, Just dropped into tea and a chat beside her.
N for the Numerous children they who Were often too much for their mother in Shoe.
O the Old person that cobwebs did spy, And went up to sweep 'em Oh ever so high!
P for the Pie made of blackbirds to sing, A song fit for supper a dish for a king.
Q for Queen Anne who sat in the sun Till she, more than the lily resembled the bun
R stands for Richard & Robert, those men Who didn't get up one fine morning till ten!
S for the Snail that showed wonderful fight, Putting no less than twenty-four tailors to flight!
T stands for Tom, the son of the piper, May his principles change as his years grow riper.
U for the Unicorn, keeping his eye on The coveted crown, and 'ts counsel the Lion.
V for the Victuals, including the drink, The old woman lived on surprising to think!
W for the WOMAN who not over nice, Made very short work of the three blind mice.
X is the X that is found upon buns, Which, daughters not liking, may come in for sons.
Y for Yankee Doodle of ancient renown, Both he & his pony that took him to town.
Z for the Zany who looked like a fool, For when he was young he neglected his school.