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A Minniature ov Inglish Orthoggraphy
by James Elphinston
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A MINNIATURE OV INGLISH ORTHOGGRAPHY.

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TO' DHEIR ROYAL HIGHNESSES, DHE PRINCE AND PRINCES OV WALES; DHE DUKE AND DUTCHES OV YORK: ONNORED AZ UNDOUTED PATRONS AND PATTERNS OV EVVERY PROPRIETY: DHIS MINNIATURE

Ov Inglish Orthoggraphy,

UMBLY HOPES UNIVERSAL ACCEPTANCE; FROM DHE BENIGN PERMISSION OV BEING SO INSCRIBED, BY DHEIR ROYAL HIGHNESSES DEVOTED SERVANT, James Elphinston.

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A MINNIATURE OV

Inglish Orthoggraphy:

DEDDICATED TO' DHE PRINCE AND PRINCES OF WALES, DHE DUKE AND DUTCHES OV YORK:

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BY JAMES ELPHINSTON.

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LONDON:

SOLD (Price 1 Shilling and 6 Pence) BY W. RITCHARDSON, ROYAL EXCHAINGE; T. BOOSEY, N. 4, BRAUD-STREET, DHARE; F. AND C. RIVVINGTON, N. 62; ST. PAULS CHURCHYARD; J. DEIGHTON, N. 325, HOLBORN; W. CLARK, N. 38, BOND-STREET.

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1795.

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CONTENTS.

1. Introduccion 2. Orthoggraphy ascertained in dhe vowels, and dheir serviles 3. Vocal substitucion, licenced and licencious 4. Ov open and shut vowels 5. Ov dhe aspirates and dheir insertives 6. Ov redundant serviles 7. Ov impracticabel articulacion 8. Ov false aspiracion 9. Dhe guttural aspirate lost, or transmuted by moddern organs 10. Old R aspirate 11. Oddher antiquated idellers 12. Final fantoms, or dubblers ov final forms 13. Oddher falsifiers, medial or final; licquids or sibbilants; particcularly TI for a sibbilacion 14. Dhe orthoggraphy ov propper names 15. Dhe fundamental principel ov orthoggraphy 16. The orthographic riddle

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A MINNIATURE OV INGLISH ORTHOGGRAPHY.

1. INTRODUCTION.

Hwen evvery oddher language, and at last our own, haz been reduced to' science; rendered accountabel to' natives, and accessibel to' straingers; hwence iz it, dhat our practice, growing daily more a contrast dhan an exemplificacion ov our theory, tempts ignorance to' speak, az blind habbit spels; raddher dhan to' dream ov spelling, az propriety exhibbits her unremitted harmony, hweddher in word or writing? For propriety, hwarevver herd, can be seen onely in her picture: nor can dhis be duly drawn, but from dhe oridginal; or dhe likenes long prezerved, in dhe coppies ov vulgarrity.

Scarce creddibel doz it seem, to' dhe anallogists ov oddher diccions, dhat hiddherto', in Inglish exhibiscion, evvery vowel and evvery consonant ar almoast az often falsifiers az immages ov dhe truith. Hetteroggraphy indeed, or false litterary picture, can arize onely from won, or a combinacion, ov foar cauzes: redundance, defiscience; mischoice, or misarraingement.

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2. ORTHOGGRAPHY ASCERTAINED IN DHE VOWELS, AND DHEIR SERVILES.

It iz not now new, dhat evvery Inglish vowel haz, not onely a longuer and shorter, but even a different sound, az open or shut by a consonant; dho A braud, open and shut, differ but in quantity. Nor iz it yet a secret, dhat certain mutes, or silent letters, (espescially vocal quiescents,) ar named serviles; rendering essencial az vizzibel service, boath to' vowels and consonants. Hware such gards ar wanted, dhey doutles wil attend; and, hwen dhey proov superfluous, az reddily widhdraw. Dhus dhe open vowel ov dhe simpel shuts, and dhe serviles vannish, in dhe penultimate ov dhe compound: shake, Shakspear; chear, cherfool; vine, vinyard, and dhe like. So formatives: stare and stair, starling; steer, sterling; shere, sherrif; child, children; kind, kindred; know, knollege; and dhe rest.

Evvery open ear must allow dhe aspiracion (h) to' articculate iniscially dhe braud vocal licquid (w); nor longuer imadgine dhat wh, apparent, can becom hw real; or dhat what, whale, wheels, can rascionally paint dhe power ov hwat, hwale, hweels. Dhe braud licquid (w) haz no place in hoal, total; or in hore, prostitute; distinct alike, to' dhe eye, from hole and hoar. But wh, iniscial, may wel prommise hw; if le and re, boath final, may picture el and er: az we admire, not onely on dhe little theatre, but in dhe centre ov dhe battle! Dho a tutch ov Rezons wand wil restore dhe buty ov truith; at wonce to' dhe littel theater, and to' dhe center ov dhe battel; az such buty beamed in dhe former century.

Dhe French table, chambre, ancien, danger, ar dhe unexcepcionabel parents ov dhe Inglilh tabel, chaimber, aincient, dainger; hoo ar too apt scollars, not to' lern from parental exampel, to' show dhemselvs hwat dhey ar; widhout wondering, dhat won tung iz not anoddher, or dhat each must hav her own essence and semblance; and dhat in ours, az in oddher picturage, an open vowel must not appear a shut won. Indispensabel dhen az dhe servile (i) in dhe three last exampels, iz it in aingel, dho inadmissibel in angellic; in evvery ainge and ainger, like rainge and rainger; az wel az in caimbric and Caimbridge; dho nedher in Cam nor Cambray.

If a slender, open, must hav in such case its gardian; a slender, even shut, hwen protracted, requires its protracting aspiracion (h): az in ah! Mahlah; so in Pahtric, fahdher, pappah, mammah, and ahnt; so distinct (dho safe enuf ungarded) from ant dhe emmet. But gahp, herd, iz dhus no longuer seen gape. Hant, hanch, and dheir fellows, admit not dhe braudener; hwich iz indispensabel to' wrauth, wauter, and vauz; nor need dhe protracting aspirer, more dhan doo chant and branch.

O must hav its own medial servant, to' ascertain its opennes; in poark, poart, spoart, foart, foard, goard, soard, (wonce sword), foarth, foarce, foarge; boast, coast, goast, moast, poast, and boath; justly az in dhe annimal boar, in board, boast, and dheir fellows; dho slow gender slowth, reggularly, az grow, growth. Widh poart and poast, poartal, poarter; poastage, and dhe like.

Better no attendant, dhan a false won. O direct (dhe common o) can nedher assume o, dhe servile ov o depressive (oo); nor u, hwich wood seem its partner in a dipthong. Doar, floar, and moar, ar dhus reggular and safe; dore, flore, and more, widh equivvalent servile, leve more coincident; yet compounds prefer dhe final servile: az batteldore,[1] Blacmore, Hwitmore; and Strathmore, scottishly strong on dhe latter syllabel.

Soll, spirrit, avoids occular union widh sole, alike, and soal: by adopting dhe servile ov poll, boll, toll, roll (widh controll,) scroll, and droll. Like dipthongal dainger precludes u from dhe servile funccion, duly undertaken by a in soar, moarn, boarn, distinct from boren or bor'n, dhe compannion ov woren or wor'n, sworen or swor'n, toren or tor'n, shoren or shor'n, and clear, az open and shut, ov born; in coart, goard, coarse, and soarce. Coarce, dhe ded boddy, dies no more in corpse; hwen dhus boren decently to' interment. Dhis precaution suffers o open, to' understand or omit, dhe servile before l and anny oddher consonant: az in old colt, wonce seen and herd ould coult. If old colt now suffice, oald coalt iz understood. For dhis rezon, goald must no longuer be robbed ov its depressive servile, wonce legally seen in gould. Au, widh les plea, suppresses its servile in like sittuacion; az salt and alder; except in dhe singuel assault! saut and vaut being, now, duly out ov dhe question.

If ou cannot now paint o direct, much les can it picture o depressive (oo); in you, youth, uncouth; should, would, or could: for yoo, yooth, uncooth; shood, wood, or cood. Hwen ou Inglish transferred its equivvalence from dhe French ou to' dhe German au, hwich compounds a braud, widh o depressive (au widh oo); az itself cood no more be frenchly interchaingeabel widh oo; nedher ov its parts waz more likely to' becom so. Do or who can no more dhan doe or hoe, (boath better employed!) or dhan shoe, canoe, lose, move, prove, behove; Rome, Coke, Pole, or simmilar; prezent dhe prezzent doo, hoo, shoo, canoo, looz, moov, proov, behoov, Room, Cook, Pool, or dhe like: for truith fears notthing from coincidence ov sound, and falsehood always leads astray. B may distinctively open dhe vowel, in climb and comb; but cannot render it also depressive in comb, tomb, bomb, and womb; for coomb, toomb, boomb, and woomb. Hwatevver u may hav been in Lattin vocallity, dhat figgure cannot guiv oo, even open, in Inglish; far les oo shut, in pull, bull, full; butcher, put, pudding, puss, push, bush; bushel, cushion; for pool, bool, fool, bootcher, poot, poodding, poose, poosh, boosh, booshel, and coossion: in all ov hwich, dhe oo iz doutles short az shut; and distinct az foolling and fooling. If u cannot prommise oo shut, no more can oo proxy u shut, in dhe singuel foot for fut. No servile can attend a shut vowel; and truith must hav her own, like suit and fruit: in dhe French bruit it iz also distinctive. Alreddy hav we seen o direct disguized, no les dhan o depressive; and can we longuer bair dhe Gallic beau, for dhe Brittish boe; more dhan dhe dubble falsifier beauty, for dhe Inglish buty, dhe sweet compannion ov duty?

Sew, shew, and strew, wer dhe preddecessors, so cannot be dhe identities, ov soe, show, and strow: dhe first dhus occularly clear ov sow, so different verb and noun! dhe latter, distinct to' dhe ear by dhe dipthong, hwich also distinguishes slough, no more swallowing sluf: toe and tow (no more jostling widh tough, now tuf), doe and dough, floe and flow, being respective coincidents; clear indeed to' dhe eye, boath ov boddy and mind. Ow final iz dipthongal in how, now! bow bend; cow, noun or verb; sow, the noun; in vow, verb or noun; and in allow, endow. Dhe dipthong distinguishes also slough, plough, and bough branch. O remains merely simpel in dough, az if dow. Bo! or boh! interjeccion, coincides widh boe and bow, boath nouns: dhe latter leving dhe dipthong to' dhe verb, or its accion, hwence dhe ball derives it in bowl; dhe open vowel distinguishing dhe bowl or bason, coincident widh boll and bole.

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3. VOCAL SUBSTITUCION.

Dho won semblance may exhibbit, not onely two' senses, but two' sounds; won symbol must not pretend to' paint anoddher, unles by distinctive substitution. E proovs dhus dhe lawfool substitute ov a, in heigh-ho! moddernized hey-ho! in heighday, now hey-day! weigh, wey, hwey, prey, bey, dey; dhey, dheir, eir, eight, and freight; widh obey, inveigh, convey, survey, and purvey; az wel az hwen febel, in parley, barley, Harley, Chudleigh, and dheir fellows.

But e cannot be a, widh dhe servile dhat distinguishes e: tear cannot be clas-mate, at wonce to' fear and fair. If dherfor e cannot be a, widh a servile; and a need no substitute in dhe verbs tair, wair, swair, and bair; peir, dhe fruit, and beir, dhe beast, claim dhe substitute vowel, widh due servile; pair, pare, bair and bare, being engaged. For like rezon, braik and grait admit no vocal substitute. Where and there no more puzzel dhan bely, in dheir own shape, ov hware and dhare.

E fairly substituting dhe forrain i, in pier, bier, mien, lief, widh belief, believ; relief, reliev; and dhe rest; so distinct from peer, beer; mean, leaf; or so connected by alliance, forrain or domestic; dhe substitucion simmilarly prevails in shriek, fiend, fief, brief, chief, atchiev; thief, thiev; repriev, retriev; pierce, fierce, and tierce: ettymollogy howevver, scorning alike substitucion and superfluity, in receiv, receit, and dheir collaterals.

Forrain semblance belied dhe adoptives, oblige, marine, machine, magazine, fatigue, intrigue, antique, and shire; til Londoners began to' treat dhem az natives ov Ingland; not dreaming dhat dheir essence cood not here be prezerved, but in dhe guize ov oblege, marene, mashene, maggazene, fategue, intregue, anteke (or anteek, mareen, and dhe rest,) joined by legue, twegue, and shere: hwich last, dho dhus sevvered from sheer and shear, boath coincident in sound, waz beguinning, in dhe false shape ov shire, (like oblege, in dhat ov oblige,) to' violate Inglish harmony in evvery British nacion. Dhe same propriety, dhat dhus gards dhe Inglish vowel (e), prezervs, no les piously, dhe parental equivvalent (i), in obligacion, marriner, mackinate, mackinacion, indefattigabel, anticquity, az wel az antiquary; and evvery forrain buty, consistent widh domestic truith.

If dhe prezzent century hav made manny improovments, in orthoggraphy and elsehware; it haz certainly made manny alteracions, dhat wer dhe verry reverse ov improovment. Som eying truith, onely in her parents, wood allege dhat virtue alone cood persuade; havving lernedly perfwaded dhemselvs, dhat vertue might hav sweetnes, widhout partaking suavity, by hwich dhey pictured swavvity. It seems howevver high time dhat a certain kingdom, at length panting after evvery propriety, shood know and confes, dhat her name iz no more England, dhan Engelonde or Angland; or dhan her sovverain iz king ov France!

Since won symbol must no more usurp dhe office ov anoddher, o wil no longuer pretend to' paint A braud open (au); in ought, nought, brought, thought, sought, fought, bought; for aught (now indeed aut), and dhe rest: nor wil groat and broad expect anny more, to' be acknolleged graut and braud.

Nedher tongue nor tong (alreddy won ov a pair) can picture tung; dho u stil employ dhe distinctive substitucion ov o in son, male issue; nor les propperly dhe ettymolodgic in yong, mong, mongrel, monk, (widh monkey,) and Monday; in monney, bonney, conney, condit, constabel; az in yolk, so in covver, hovver, plovver; in lovver and glovver, from lov and glov. Cullor (nevver colour) avoids coincidence equally widh collar and coller; dhe latter greekly, not frenchly, affected choler.

But surely a vocal groop cannot shrink into' an Inglish shut vowel: nor cood dhe following French, or almoast French, be suppozed Inglish words: souple, couple; double, trouble; nourish, flourish; courage, courteous, country, cousin; journey, journal; sojourn, adjourn, and touch; more dhan such oddities claim continnuance, az young, rough, or tough: for suppel (alreddy almoast Inglish in supple,) cuppel; dubbel, trubbel; nurrish, flurrish; currage, curteous; contry (ettymolodgical substitute ov cuntry; like yong, ov yung;) cozzen az dozzen, no more dozen! jurney, jurnal; sodjurn, adjurn, widh tutch; tuf and ruf: not to' reprezent dhe so duly exploded, az authour, succour, superiour for author, succor, superior; hweddher agent, accion, or adjective.

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4. OV OPEN AND SHUT VOWELS.

Az vocallity must often depend on articulacion; consonants, like vowels, must nedher be too manny, too few, nor oddher dhan dhemselvs. If sounds open must not seem shut, sounds shut must not appear open. No servile can attend a shut vowel; hwich, on dhe contrary, must show dhe consonant dhat shuts it. Hwen a consonant concludes dhe syllabel, after an open vowel; a servile must gard dhe vowel from dhe consonant, hwich else wood shut it. A shut vowel dhen must show dhe shutter, or be left apparently open.

Dhe first vowel (a), slender or braud, may doutles be more or les so, by dhe prezzence or absence ov dhe stres, or vocal exercion. A slender, self or substitute, iz open az garded, in fain, fein, and fane; wail, and wale; open az unshut, in paper, favor, braver, bravest, braving, braved: so in fainer, feiner; az wel az faining, feined; wailing, wailed; waling, waled; articculated pa-per, fa-vor, bra-ver, bra-vest; fai-ner, fei-ner, and so on: for a singuel consonant, natturally (dhence nescessarily) articculates dhe following, not dhe preceding vowel. A, slender, iz shut in fan, fanning; and the like. A braud (au) haz its own distinctive servile in faun and fawn, in all and awl, ball and bawl. Dho l remain dhe servile in balling, az wel az dhe w in bawling; it iz no servile, but dhe effective shutter, in ballot, bal-lot, or dhe like.

A braud, shut, plays its own part, hwen articculated by w or qu (vertually cw,) in dhe propper Waller, az in wallet or quallity; in war, quarrel; wart, quart; wan, want, quantity, and such. A braud, shut, not so articculated, substitutes o shut: dhus dhe o ov cord iz perfetly coincident, or unison, widh dhe a in ward. Hware a performs its own braud-shut part, o becoms dhe substitute ov u shut, az in won word; quoth and quod.

E iz dhus open in mean and mien, tiend and fiend, siev and seiz; widh grief, griev; relief, reliev; receiv, receit, and dheir fellows. Open iz e likewize in meat, meet, and mete; (three coincident!) meeting, meting, and meter; shut in men, pen, fen; met, set; penny, fennel; penning, setting: and so foarth.

I iz open in fine, finer, finish; dine, dining, and diner; rime, riming, and rimer; fi-ner, fi-nish, and so on: shut in fin, finnish; din, dinner; brim, brimmer; fin-nish, and simmilar.

O iz open in Po, pole, polar, and polish; mode, modish; soal, sole, and soll; shut in sollace, pollish, and moddest; po-lish, pol-lish, and dhe like.

U iz open in unit, unite; tune, tunic, punic, studious; shut in studdy, unabated: u-nit, stu-dent, stud-dy, un-a-ba-ted; such compounds being licenced to' take in dhe singuel consonant ov dhe prepoziscion.

So hear we, and so see we,

a, e, i, o, u, open; ar, er, il, on, us, shut; may, me, my, mow[2], mew; mas, mes, mis, mos, must. So Mary, marry; even, sevven; ivy, Livvy; odor, odder; student, studdy.

If dhen open vowels must appear open, shut vowels must appear shut. Forrain, even parental, diccions cannot rule dhe picture ov dhe native: for picture can hav but won oridginal. Widh parrity ov rezon may (and must often) dhe parental vowel be open, and dhe descendant shut. To' edher iz Popes laconnic line applicabel:

Dhis dhey, dhat know me, know; dhat lov me, tel.

To' keep Inglish, dhus like French and Lattin, or spelling dhe contrast ov speech; our litterature haz hiddherto' no likenes ov our language; and haz continnued inaccessibel to' evvery native, az much az to' evvery strainger. For, hwile we lernedly lov to' see

Aloe, melon, lily, solemn, carol, very, spirit, coral, borough, manor, tenant, minute, honor, punish, clamor, blemish, limit, comet, pumice, chapel, leper, triple, copy, habit, rebel, tribute, probate, heifer, profit, cavil, revel, drivel, novel, hovel, city, pity, british, critic, madam, credit, idiom, body, study, tacit, licit, hazard, ezad, lizard, closet, bosom, vicar, liquor, liquid, rigor, rigid:

We shrewdly hope to' hear,

Alloe, mellon, lilly, sollemn, carrol, verry, spirrit, corral, burrow, mannor, tennant, minnute, onnor, punnish, clammor, blemmish, limmit, commet, pummice, chappel, lepper, trippel, coppy, habbit, rebbel, tribbute, probbate, heffer, proffit, cavvil, revvel, drivvel, novvel, hovvel, citty, pitty, brittish, crittic, maddam, creddit, iddiom, boddy, studdy, tascit, liscit, hazzard, ezzad, lizzard, clozzet, buzzom, viccar, liccor, licquid, riggor, ridgid.

Hwile dhus notthing but s can dubbel soft c, or sibbilantly shut dhe preceding vowel; and render precious, or vicious, hwat dhey ar; but prescious, or viscious; dhe sibbilants direct simpel figgure may not onely becom, in dhe ostensibel physic, visit, and vision, a dubbel depressive; in dhe real phyzzic, vizzit, and vizzion; but work equal wonders, in polysyllables ov anny extension; pretending, in dhe verry name, to' paint pollysyllabels. And dhus dhe trokees grow innumerabel, dhat shut and sharpen, shortening dhe former vowel; hwich dhey hav hiddherto' pretended to' exhibbit slowly and smoodhly open: so leving singuel dhe intermediate articulacion, hwich must be audibly dubbel, (must shut az wel az articculate,) and continnue dhe equal impossibillity, ov reading and writing our language.

For, hwen our diccion attains, like oddhers, dhe happy habbit ov appearing hwat it iz; alternate strength and febelnes must prezent mallice and maliscious, sollemn and solemnity, morral and morallity, mannor and manorial, limmit and limmitacion, habbit and habittual, spirrit, spirritual, and spirrituallity. So evvery consequencial, hweddher ov trocaic or dactyllian stres: orrigin, oridginal, oridginality, or originallity, reallity, quallity, equallity, verrity, verrily, ennemy, ammity, appathy, probbity; so, widh propphet, propphesy, and propphecy; but, by penultimate or antepenultimate ennergy, (dhe stres on last but won, or last but two',) prophettic, or prophettical: widh philossophy, philossopher, and philosopphic; widh avvarice, avvariscious; lodgic, logiscian; phyzzic, phyziscian; immage, imadgine; madjesty, majestic. Az alliment, saccrament; az orrifice, saccrifice, and orrator, widhout violacion ov aught sacred, or chainge ov oracion.

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5. OV DHE ASPIRATES, AND DHEIR INSERTIVES.

Oracion indeed iz dhus kept sacred az orrator: for t cood nevver sibbilate (or play s) in orthoggraphy, aincient or moddern; nor a dubbel articulacion pretend to' look singuel, more dhan a singuel a dubbel won. Dhe dactyl orthodox admits littel chainge in dhe dubbel trokee orthodoxy; like mellancolly, vulgarly melancholy: but orthoggraphy and orthograpphical ar, widh equal harmony, subject to' antepenultimate power. Like Propriety dherfor inserts dhe shutter we hear, in dhe duplication, az ov evvery simpel, so ov evvery aspirate, duly dubbled by dhe simpel insertive. Dhus p dubbels ph, and even f, f; in propphet, and proffit. But, az ph became f; so bh, universally v, nescessarily dubbelled in provverb. Az s or z dubbels dhe soft sibbilant aspirate, (sh or zh) in prescious, decizzion, t or d, respectively, dubbled dhat dhey rendered equal to' tsh or dzh: az tutching dhe madjesty ov relidgion.

But dhe Inglish tung, (raddher teeth,) enjoying dhe dental aspirate, direct and depressive (th and dh), beyond perhaps anny oddher language, aincient or moddern; can no longuer be denied dhe appearance, hware it so peculiarly pozesses dhe reallity, ov dubbling az wel az depressing its power. No more dhen can be confounded dhe aspirates ov oath, oadhs; ov bath, badhs, and badhe; ov Otho and oddher, Clotho and clodhier, dhis thing and dhat thing; dheze things and dhoze things: misaspiracion wil no more embarras, dhan misarraingement, Dhe Theater.

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6. OV REDUNDANT SERVILES.

If defiscience ov symbols hav been so ezily and so amply exampelled; a ballance may be proffered in redundance; ov consonants, no les dhan ov serviles. Hwen evvery mute minnister waz supplied to' vocallity; dhe hardening gard ov g, at least, shood not hav been forgotten. If i waz indispensabel in aingel and dainger, u iz az recquizite in anguel and anguer, az in guerdon. Guet and guiv demand dhe (u) hardener, az boldly az gues and guilt. So redundance alreddy recalls, in order to' explode, guess and give! Widh dhis not onely seeing (for seing) and dhe like; but dhe falsifying final ov are, were; awe, owe; some, come; above, dove, love, glove; throve, drove, shrove, shove, hove; for ar, wer; aw, ow; som, com; abov, dov, lov, glov; throv, drov, shrov, shov, hov: hwere o for u guivs to' the ear, sum distinctive, widh cum, abuv, and dhe rest.

Superfluous, dhence obstructive, (distractive indeed!) dhe i ov either, neither; heifer and friend; dhe o ov people and yeoman; leopard and jeopard; dhe u ov eulogy, az ov eulogium; ov conduit, vertually cundit: a, obviously useles, after an oddherwize open vowel, in season, reason, treason, treacle, creature; in eave, heave, weave, leave, cleave, reave, greave; cease, lease, crease, grease; teaze, ease, please; like dhe e final to' sieve, grieve, relieve, receive; dhe second e in sleeve, geese, fleece, freeze, breeze, squeeze, cheese: for edher, nedher; heffer, frend; pepel and yeman, leppard, and jeppard; ellogy, az elogium; widh condit: so sezon, rezon, trezon, trekel, creture; eve, heve, weve, leve, cleve, reve, greve; cese, lese, crese, grese; teze, eze, pleze: siev, griev, reliev, receiv; sleve, guese, flece, freze, breze, squeze, cheze. But, like dhe i ov heifer and friend, dhe o ov leopard and jeopard; dhe u ov eulogy; iz dhe a ov leap-year and ov neap-tide; for lep-year and nep-tide; nay, shamefoolly, like dhe superfluity in all dheze, haz dhe a hiddherto' remained in health, wealth, and stealth; becauz it stil iz nescessary in heal, weal, and steal! and doutles, for som simmilarly cogent rezon, doz kind a continnue to' gard dhe same shut vowel! in realm, earl, pearl; earn, learn; early, earnest; earth, dearth, hearth, heard, hearse, rehearse, searce, search, threat, deaf, dead, head, bread, tread, dread, thread, stead, lead, read; ready, steady, heady, meadow; zealous, jealous, weapon, leaven, heaven, endeavour; pleasure, measure, treasure, leasure or leisure! for helth, welth, stelth; relm, erl, perl; ern, lern; erly, ernest; erth, derth, herth, herd, herse, reherse, serce, serch; thret, def, ded, hed, bred, tred, dred, thred, sted, led, red; reddy, steddy, heddy, meddow; zellous, jellous; weppon, levven, hevven, endevvor, plezzure, mezzure, trezzure, lezzure.

How (alas!) wil BRITTISH LIBBERTY moarn her novvel chains, hwen she must not onely speak az she thinks, but write as she speaks; hwen rove, lov, and moov, can chime no more togueddher; hwen lead and led, read and red, live and liv, tear and tair, ar found oppozite, az East and West; nay, az open and shut vowels!

* * * * *

7. OV IMPRACTICABEL ARTICULACION.

No les embarrassing iz dhe redundance ov impracticabel articulacion, iniscial, medial, or final, (in dhe beguinning, middel, or end, ov words:) dhe first indeed chiefly in forrain names, titels, or terms, hware a consonant, uncombinabel (mediately or immediately) widh a vowel, remains a ded rellic: az dhe c ov czar (dho contracted from Cezar), dhe p ov Ptollemy (mere Tollemy), or ptisic (for tizzic), dhe b ov bdellium, herd onely dellium; and even dhe p ov psalm, herd but sahm, dho dhe l be stil audibel in psalmist and psalmody, all effective beside dhe labial (p).

* * * * *

8. OV FALSE ASPIRACION.

But no exampel can warrant dhe aspiring ideller, dhat pretends to' lead heir, heritage, heritable, heritor; herb, herbage, herbalist; honour, honorary, honourable; and even dhe humble humour ov dhe passing hour; insted ov eir, erritage, erritabel, erritor; erb, erbage, erbalist; onnor, onnorary, onnorabel; widh dhe umbel umor ov dhe prezzent our; hwich doutles can alone be called our our. Yet aspiracion cannot be denied to' inherrit, inherritance, inherritor, heredditary.

* * * * *

9. DHE GUTTURAL ASPIRATE LOST, OR TRANSMUTED BY MODDERN ORGANS.

Dhe consonants dhat subjoin aspiracion (h), ar dhe labial, dental, lingual, and guttural; or dhe articculants from dhe lips, teeth, tung, and throat: p, t, s, and k; by dhe Lattins turned into c: az in Philadelphus and Philadelphia, Thales and Thalia, Sharon and Sheba, Charon and Chilo, hoom dhe Inglish, havving smoodhed away dhe aspiracion, ar fain to' call Caron and Kilo.

Aincient organs, howevver, dubbelled occazionally dhe guttural, az wel az dhe labial aspirate; dooing equal justice to' Bacchus and to' Sappho: moddern also, (peculiarly the Inglish,) dhe oddher two'; dhe simpel always sufficing to' dubbel dhe aspirate. New dialects softening, lost dhe guttural aspirate; til dhe Spannish probbably recovvered it from dhe Morish. The Itallian and Spannish, and from dhem dhe Inglish, endevvored to' make up dhe los, by prefixing dhe simpel dental to' dhe lingual or sibbilant aspirate, hwich dhe Gallic ear preferred widhout dhe dental; preferring dherfor dhe vertual sh and zh to' tsh and dzh. Inglish organs loozing, like French, dhe guttural aspirate, edher dropt dhe aspiracion, az in carracter and kemmist or kymmist; from character and chemist or chymist; or turned dhe hoal ruf guttural into' dhe smoodh labial aspirate. So softening cough, hough, trough, through, though; rough, tough, slough, chough, widh dhe proppers Hough, Brough, and Loughborough; into' cof, hof, trof; throo or thro', and dho: ruf, tuf, sluf, chuf; Huf, Bruf, and Lufburrough or Lufburrow. But Gough perhaps Orrigin recalled into' Goffe or Gof; hwile Lough became Inglishly Luf, and dhe guttural graddually melted in burrow, ov hwatevver kind.

Aincient ellocucion depressed no aspirate; sattisfied widh ph or f, th, sh, and kh or ch; widhout bh or v, dh, zh or gh. Dhe labial aspirate gennerated dhe Eollic digamma F (howevver turned), hwich by and by gave birth to' dhe Lattin V. If primmitive tungs gain dhus at length won depressive aspirate; succeding expression, particcularly dhe Inglish, came to' dubbel dhe depressive v az wel az dhe direct ph or f. French articculacion havving no more occazion for such dubbling dhan her parent Lattin, dhe Inglish acute or sharp accent askt it evvery moment; but seing no prescedent in oddher picturage, forbore to' exhibbit it, even until dhe prezzent our, dhat Inglish anallogy, matured at last, rezolved to' be seen, az wel az herd; to' reggulate practice by theory, and realize theory in practice.

* * * * *

10. DHE OLD ASPIRATE OV R.

Som Greeks, followed by som Lattins, fancied to' ad rufnes to' dhe licquid R, or to' paint its innate rufnes more foarcibly, by subjoining aspiracion. Hence rushed dhe Rhine and dhe Rhone, dhe Rhemi and Rheims, Rhoda and Rhodes; rhomb, rhumb, rheum, and rhubarb. Dhe Rhine brought Rhenish; az rhythmus rhythm, rhyme and rhime; til at length harmonious rezon introduced rime, boath into' French and Inglish; hwence dhe regennerated Rine, pouring purified Rennish, rouzed dhe rappid Rone to' rezistles emmulacion; brought Roda to' Rodes, and rubarb to' reumatism. Dhe verry rinosceros disdains now alike to' ruffen hiz horn widh adscitiscious snorting, and to' stifel even hiz moddern sibbilacion.

Hwen dhe guttural aspirate lost dhe aspiracion, dhe simpel guttural alone cood remain: az in Caron, Kiron, Akilles, Cloe, Cronus; widh carracter, corus, and coral, stil quite clear ov corral: wonce seen, because wonce herd, Charon, Chiron, Achilles, Chloe, Chronus, character, chorus, and choral.

* * * * *

11. ODDHER ANTIQUATED IDELLERS.

Among medial idellers, hiddherto', not onely suffered, but sanccioned, even after parental ejeccion, ar[3] dhe s ov isle; l ov fault and vault, p ov receipt, b ov debt and doubt; c ov perfect and verdict[3]; here at last fairly seen ile, faut, vaut, receit, det, dout, perfet, verdit. Alike idel iz dhe raddical g ov feign and deign, for fein and dain; and, werse (if possibel) dhan idel, dhe g ov foreign and sovereign, for forrain and sovverain, from forain and souverain; az dheze from foraneus and supraneus.

* * * * *

12. FINAL FANTOMS, OR DUBBLERS OV FINAL FORMS.

How manny final fantoms, in articculating shape, must Truiths torch beam away! how manny dubblers ov a singuel clozer, espescially l, f, s, and c! az ill, off, ass, back; so err, inn, ebb, add, odd, egg: really no more, nor capabel ov being more, dhan il, of, as, bac; er, in, eb, ad, od, eg. Shall, for shal, doz addiscional mischief, by inviting ignorance to' brauden dhe vowel.

* * * * *

13. ODDHER FALSIFIERS, MEDIAL OR FINAL, OV LICQUIDS OR SIBBILANTS; PARTICCULARLY, TI FOR A SIBBILACION.

Our misrepprezented consonants seem reducibel to' dheze. 1. Licquid for licquid: l for r, in dhe French colonel for dhe Inglish curnel; n for m, in dhe unutterabel Banff, for dhe good town ov Bamf. Here too may enter for explozion, dhe n ov dhe indeffinite artikel, hweddher before a licquefaccion or an aspiracion; nedher ov hwich iz a vowel: so can we no more say an unicorn dhan an horse, for a unicorn or a horse. 2. Direct for depressive; f for v, in of for ov; s for z, in as, has, was, is, his; for az, haz, waz, iz, hiz: in dhe verbs, house, use, peruse, abuse, excuse, amuse, like muse, noun or verb; chuse or choose, widh dhe dubbly fallacious lose and vase: for houz (like brouz), uze, peruze, abuze, excuze, amuze, muze, chuze or chooz, looz, and vauz. Dhe verbs dhus, duly sevvered from dhe nouns, lead to' distinguish dhe verb refuze from dhe adjective refuse, az wel az from dhe substantive reffuse. Profuze and profuse, diffuze and diffuse, ar simmilarly distinguishabel. Az we saw s play dubbel z in visit and vision, for vizzit and vizzion; so see we dubbel s for z in dhe middel, and for won s in dhe end ov possess, for pozes; hwich hwile oppozite stres secures to' dhe ear from dhe formative ov poze, az cares from dhat ov care, dhe context may wel guide dhe eye ov attension to' dhe undouted meaning. No wonder if dhe direct figgure ov dhe sibbilant frenchly rose, and occasionally rises, for dhe depressive reallity; s for z in rose and rises, occasionally between vowels; for occazionally roze and rizes; nay for dhe dubbel depressive in risen, for rizzen. Dhis rivals indeed Stephen for Steven, and even nephew for nevvew. If Stephanus pretended to' pattronize dhe won, neveu (not nepos) must command dhe oddher.

But dhe French acaddemy, so exemplary in evvery exhibiscion ov its language, set nohwere so fatal or so followed an exampel, az in pretending to' conjure ti into' si before a vowel: a combinacion indeed! hwich Inglish picturage ventured onely to' constitute, raddher substitute, a sibbilant aspirate; dhe same groop condition prezenting in won picturage condicion; and dhence in dhe oddher condiscion. Yet French led not Inglish into' dhe dissolucion ov x into' ct, in flexion, reflexion; hwich dhe former nevver violated into' flection, reflection, or dhe like.

* * * * *

14. DHE ORTHOGGRAPHY OV PROPPER NAMES.

Innocent howevver wer oddher tungs ov mispainting, az ov mispronouncing dhe dental aspirate; hwich not attempting to' substanciate even direct, far les depressive, dhey aught not, at least need not, to' paint at all: az dhe French Tomas, if les like hiz parent dhan Thomas, wood be so much liker himself; hwile Tommas alone can tel Inglish truith.

But dhat Tommas, dho a gennerous confessor ov conviccion, iz not dhe alone Brittish truith-teller; dhat he iz rivalled indeed by evvery oddher propper aincient and moddern, can be no novvelty to' anny crittic ov litterary natturalizement; hoo must onnor at wonce dhe, hware possibel, prezerved ennergy ov orrigin; and dhe inviolate prezzervacion ov Inglish anallogy; in dhe unchainged compannions ov Euphrates, Darius, Heraclitus, Berea, Thalia, and dhe rest; az wel az in dhe irreffragabel buties ov Horrace, Terrence, Cezar, Ciscero, Senneca, Soccrates, Democcritus, Empeddocles, Heroddotus, no les dhan ov Jon, Phillip, Robbert, Parris, widh Hellen, Elizzabeth, and dheir oddher Anglicized frends.

* * * * *

15. DHE FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPEL OV ORTHOGGRAPHY.

Such iz dhe system ov INGLISH ORTHOGGRAPHY, braught widhin dhe compas ov a few pages, on dhe unfailing principel, hwich aught to' govvern evvery plan ov litterary improovment: first, to' make no chainge dhat can rascionally be avoided; and dhen to' make precisely evvery variacion, from vulgar practice, dhat can be demonstrated indispensabel. Nor iz dhis aught else dhan a completed minniature ov INGLISH PROPRIETY ascertained in her picture: two quarto-vollumes graciously received by hiz prezzent Brittish Madjesty, from dhe same umbel hands; at St. Jameses, in 1786.

DHE END.

* * * * *

THE ORTHOGRAPHIC RIDDLE.

PREFACE.

These emanations of the British Muse, Where English thoughts could English dress refuse, Were once presented to another press, Though thence borne back, as hopeless of success. What honest critic e'er could credit eligible, Riddles to his researches unintelligible? When ready caution guards the lit'rate realm, Never shall foreign floods these isles o'erwhelm: Orthography the mother-tongue shall give, Ever, as every where, with Truth to live; Truth, Reason, Beauty shall o'erspread the nation; Shall solve the RIDDLE, with one contemplation.

The public monitor of truth, Sworn enemy to what's uncouth, With blockheads similarly spells, (Orthography with pleasure tells) That thus the force of ridicule Should laugh the learned back to school. What then should cause that laughter strange? What should occasion gen'ral change?

Orthography the answer gives, To satisfy whoever lives. The honest will confess the pity, Court, country, citadel with city; That ancients, with the giddy young, Should study still the Latin tongue; Should leave to levity, to dolour, The unproficient English scholar; Should give the very stranger dread, Of gibberish, that ne'er was read; That ne'er was heard, without derision, Eschewing ocular revision.

This one example well will prove, Will lib'ral laughter doubtless move: When Pedantry shall cease to swell, Honour'd Humility will spell. The beauty then, of British truth, Resistless shall enamour youth; Shall evidence th' asseveration, Throughout th' etymologic nation; That one poetic exhibition Could, without lit'ral intuition, Fill ev'ry literary article, Though never spell one single particle: Could faithfully the whole present, Without[5] once shad'wing what were meant.

* * * * *

DHE SOLUCION OV DHE ORTHOGRAPPHIC RIDDEL.

PREFFACE.

Dheze emmanacions ov dhe Brittish Muze, Hware Inglish thaughts cood Inglish dres refuze, Wer wonce prezented to' anoddher pres, Dho dhence bor'n bac az hopeles ov succes. Hwat onnest crittic ehr cood creddit elligibel, Riddels to' hiz reserches unintelligibel? Hwen steddy caucion gards dhe litt'rate relm, Nevver shal forrain fluds dheze iles o'rhwelm: Orthoggraphy dhe moddher-tung shal guiv, Evver, az evv'rihware, widh Truith to' liv; Truith, Rezon, Buty shal o'rspred dhe nacion; Shal solv dhe RIDDEL, widh won contemplacion.

Dhe pubblic monnitor ov truith, Swor'n ennemy to' hwat'z uncooth, Widh blockheds simmilarly spels, (Orthoggraphy widh plezzure tels) Dhat dhus dhe foarce ov riddicule Shood laf dhe lerned bac to' scool. Hwat dhen shood cauz dhat lafter strainge? Hwat shood occazion genn'ral chainge?

Orthoggraphy dhe anser guivs, To' sattisfy hooevver livs. Dhe onnest wil confes dhe pitty, Coart, contry, cittadel widh citty; Dhat aincients, widh dhe guiddy yong, Shood studdy stil dhe Lattin tung; Shood leve to' levvity, to' dollor, Dhe unprofiscient Inglish scollar; Shood guiv dhe verry strainger dred, Ov guibberish, dhat nehr waz red; Dhat nehr waz herd widhout derizzion, Eskewing occular revizzion.

Dhis won exampel wel wil proov, Wil libb'ral lafter doutles moov: Hwen Peddantry shal cese to' swel, Onnor'd Humillity wil spel. Dhe buty dhen, ov Brittish truith, Rezistles shal enammor yooth; Shal evvidence dh' assevveracion, Thro'out dh' etymmolodgic nacion; Dhat won poettic exhibiscion Cood, widhout litt'ral intuiscion, Fil evv'ry litterary artikel, Dho nevver spel won singuel partikel: Cood faithfoolly dhe hoal prezent, Widhout[6] wonce shadd'wing hwat wer ment.

* * * * *

NOTES

[1] If not vulgarized from batteller.

[2] Ov mow dhe vowel and servile coalesce, (az in sow,) into' a dipthong, in dhe compound noun barley-mow.

[3] From dhe old barbarous French isle[4], faulte, voulte, recepte, debte, doubte; parfaict, vraidict: now duly ile, faute, voute, recette, dette, doute, parfait, and vraidit from vere dictum.

[4] Inglish propriety, and indeed common-sense, must also protest against two' late misnomers: Th'isleworth for Thistelworth; and dhe forrain affectacion ov St. Mary la bonne (or even borne) for Marribone.

[5] Without one particle, representing what is read.

[6] Widhout won partikel, repprezenting hwat iz red.

THE END

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